


Never Far Away, Part Two

by Chameleononplaid



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-31 13:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12682533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chameleononplaid/pseuds/Chameleononplaid
Summary: This is the second half of my story Never Far Away.Oliver has returned from the island with a lot to think about and do. He made a promise to his father. He became a man he barely recognizes from all the trauma he endured. He is still in love with a woman who has no reason to be nice to him.Felicity returned to Starling City after graduating from MIT and dealing with her boyfriend's death. It was home, even if she still hid under the shadows so that no one that once knew her knows that she is back. But then the shocking discovery that Oliver Queen is alive hits the news and her quiet life become upended.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Thank you everyone for your patience. I had to deal with some issues before I returned to this story. Thank you to everyone for your well-wishes. I appreciated each and every one. 
> 
> Because of the problems with the first half of this story, I am still leaving on Comment Moderation for right now. Hopefully, the people who were unhappy with the last part of the story can either enjoy this second half or go find a story that more fits their preferences.

            Oliver was home. It almost seemed like an unknown concept. Sure, he’d been home before. Once, for a few days. But this was different. He was different.

            The naïve kid that he used to be was long gone. Time and circumstance had seen to that. But it was that guy that everyone at home expected even after all that had happened.

            His mom had cradled him close as she used to do whenever life got tough when she saw him at the hospital. It was a unique experience now. He had not been held since he lost Sara. The second time. And even then Sara had been so tough, resistant to touch herself. So, an actual loving embrace? That probably had not been had since Shado, about three years ago.

            He had no idea why everyone was so startled when he had attacked his mother the night before. She had come when he was asleep. Vulnerable. Of course he attacked. No one lived through what he had and not survived without developing razor sharp instincts to take down whoever came after them. Oliver was just happy Walter had snapped him out of it quickly enough for him to not hurt his own mother. The only thing Oliver was happy for in Walter’s case.

            Now it was Tommy’s turn. His best friend was ecstatic to see Oliver’s rise from death. Probably not so much if he had any clue that Oliver was the one to scare the shit out of him in Hong Kong. It was that or to see his best friend dead. That was something Oliver would never wish for the man who had once been like a brother to him.

            “You’re funeral blew,” Tommy said as they drove around town on their way to the Glades, finally breaking the tension that seemed to surround them.

Oliver turned from the window to face his friend. “You get lucky?”

            Tommy’s smile and laugh burst forth. “Like fish in a barrel.” Oliver could not keep the smile from his face. “They were so sad and huggy…”

            “Oh no.” Oliver groaned at this friend’s enthusiasm.

            “And I’m hoping for another target rich environment at your welcome home bash.”

            “Wait. My what?” That caught Oliver’s attention. He never once thought of having a party to celebrate his return. If being home was a foreign concept, a party was even more of one.

            “You came back from the dead,” Tommy said in surprise that Oliver was so confused. “This calls for a party. You tell me where and when and I’ll take care of everything.”

            Oliver smiled. It almost sounded that simple. Like he could just come back and be the guy he used to be, dismissing the past five years like they were nothing. They were everything. Oliver might not exactly like the way he turned out, however, it might be a better person than that one who left hurting everyone in his path. By then Tommy stopped at a stop sign and mentioned how much the town had deteriorated. It reminded Oliver of the real reason for his return. His father and the request that Oliver try to save the city they both loved so much.

            Swiveling his head, Oliver looked out the window at his father’s old steel factory. The one that had come to mind upon his return. The one he had asked Tommy to drive by. The one that might just be perfect for the plan that Oliver had mapped out in his head.

            “So, what did you miss the most?” Tommy asked. “Steaks at The Palm? Drinks at The Station?” Tommy grinned. “Meaningless sex?”

            “Laurel and Felicity.”

            Tommy’s grin fell from his face. “Everyone is happy you’re alive. And you’re obsessed with the two people who aren’t?” Tommy shook his head in disbelief. “Not that I have really any clue what Felicity thinks anymore. None of us has heard from her in years. She’s been a ghost almost since your funeral.”

            Oliver stared hard at his friend. No one knew the real reason Sara had left on the Gambit with him. And while Sara might be gone, he was not all that sure it was his story to tell. Sara had made him promise that he would let everyone believe she died on the Gambit. She had wanted everyone to remember her as she was and not who she had become. Oliver understood that. He may not have at the time, but he knew now.

            It was disappointing to hear about Felicity. Oliver had really hoped that he could at least see her. She was probably out there in the world happily hacking into databases until going home to spend the night with her significant other that he never had the opportunity to be. Oliver hoped that she was happy. That thought propelled him through a lot of the hardships he lived through. As for Laurel, he just shrugged.

            “Fine. I’ll take you to Laurel’s office,” Tommy said. “But don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

OQFSOQFSOQFS

           

            After his disastrous run-in with Laurel and the kidnapping that almost caused him to expose what he was capable of, Oliver was determined to focus. And that laser focus was directed at Adrian Hunt, only one of the many names contained within the notebook Oliver had taken off his dead father’s body.

            Which was the exact reason Oliver was so thrown off by his mother’s latest announcement. A bodyguard. More like a babysitter. It didn’t take much to ditch the military man. Oliver was not sure if he would be able to keep doing it though. John Diggle seemed smart and as straight as one the shaft of one of Oliver’s own arrows in his way of thinking.

            Luckily, Oliver had thought to stash some gear he acquired. Otherwise, his plans for the day may have completely backfired. Walking with a couple of bags toward the abandoned steel factory, Oliver made a mental note to sneak out later that night to get some more work done and get some equipment in. Waller owed him. So, he already knew she could not deny him some old accessories from A.R.G.U.S.

            Inside the steel factory was a mess. And to see his father’s face on the cover of one of the Queen Consolidated newsletters he found on the floor of the factory was a painful reminder of exactly why Oliver was doing this. With a glance around the place, Oliver set to work. He already had to move up the timeline he originally planned on after the kidnapping. It would not be a good thing to slow down now when he already had a target in sight.

            People like Adam Hunt did not understand how justice worked. Mainly because he never had to face it. Money and power gave him access to things that most people were incapable of achieving. It had allowed Adam Hunt to get out of crimes that smaller men would have already been serving time for. It was time for all of that to stop.

            Picking up his phone, Oliver made a call. “Hey, Tommy.”

            “Yeah, buddy?” Tommy sounded generally excited to hear from him, which made this request all that much harder. “I have the perfect place in mind for that coming back from the dead party you were talking about.”

            “You do? Where?”

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver descended the stairs annoyed by the fact that Hunt had not followed through. He had less than an hour left to put the money in the bank account before Oliver had to take action. Oliver could not let his annoyance show. He was here to be Ollie Queen, playboy billionaire.

            The party was packed with people. Oliver’s eyes skimmed over the crowd. It was overwhelming, especially when there was not a familiar face in the bunch, outside of Tommy. Oliver could hardly believe that this had once been his life. Floating from party to party with nameless and faceless people. Oliver’s circle had become so much smaller over the years. He had learned quickly it was better to trust a few and that crowds could only help you blend in when you were after a target or about to be one.

            Speaking of targets, Oliver needed to resume his search of Felicity. He had tried to find her on the internet, but had fallen short. Sure, he could enlist some A.R.G.U.S. resources to find her if he really wished to. He had been tempted on more than one occasion through the years. But, if Felicity had buried herself this deep, was it really up to him to track her down? He had nothing to offer her. Even less than he had before. No matter how much he wished to find out more, Oliver had to be content with the void of knowledge he was presented with.

            She was somewhere, with someone else, probably cursing the name Oliver Queen. He could not blame her. If their situations were reversed, he would be doing the same thing. He had not exactly left her with the best memories of him that he could have.

            It did not take long before the women got a hold of him. Not that he expected any less. They all wanted him to take notice. Oliver might have if he wasn’t contemplating his best moves in and out of the building and over to the next. Or comparing them to the memory of a nymph of a Goth girl that still haunted his dreams. Even some of the darker ones that had him screaming from the limited sleep he could handle.

            Tommy approached as Oliver made small talk with some blonde. The girl made her way away and Tommy motioned to Diggle. “Hey, does he wipe for you, too?”

            Oliver stood there and tried not to picture that. He really did. Because Tommy in some weird way had a point. Diggle was way too intent on his moves tonight. It was almost like the man could sense that there was something going to go down tonight.

            Tommy slapped Oliver on his chest, bringing him back to the situation that surrounded him. “By my rough estimate, you have not had sex in one thousand eight hundred and thirty-nine days. As your wingman…” Tommy turned Oliver back toward the main stage where a group of girls were gyrating in an imitation of a dance. “I highly recommend Carmen Golden.”

            Oliver crossed his arms as he studied the trio that Tommy had indicated. He did not want to tell his friend his calculations were way off. “Which one is she?”

            “The one that looks like the chick from Twilight?”

            “What’s Twilight?” Oliver asked completely unsure of what his friend was referring to.

            Tommy let out a sigh. “You are so much better not knowing. But, to run down quickly, think vampires. Sparkly vampires.” Tommy let out a brief shudder as if the thought repelled him. “Okay. The one in the middle who has that Felicity-esque vibe.”

            “She doesn’t,” Oliver responded without thought, frowning. Not one of those girls gave off a Felicity vibe. Sure the woman had long brown hair, but the similarities stopped there. In fact, Oliver would have described her as looking more like Laurel than Felicity. What intrigued Oliver more was the fact that Tommy seemed to reference Felicity before Laurel. Oliver wondered if that was because Tommy knew of the tension between him and Laurel after their last meeting or if it was something else. Or if Tommy just remembered how quickly Oliver tended to get revved up when Felicity was involved.

            It was probably for that reason Oliver almost lost it when he noticed Thea. She was scoring drugs with some friends. Oliver clenched his teeth until his jaw hurt. He had never been able to fully protect Felicity from the pitfalls of teenage life, but he sure as hell could save his sister. Especially now that he was back home. And Thea did not have the save excuse Felicity had all those years ago, because he _was_ Thea’s big brother.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Felicity was exhausted. It had been a long day of rewriting code for the new servers set to be installed the following week. She was ready for a glass of wine and to just veg out for a while before going to bed. Slipping inside her apartment, Felicity slid her shoes from her feet determined to place them back where they belonged tomorrow. Seeing the remote on the console table where she deposited her purse and keys, Felicity flicked it on. She’d grab it back again after she retrieved her wine.

            Cringing, Felicity entered the kitchen. The news was on. Felicity had avoided it like the plague for years. The last time she had decided to listen was the last night she had been in Starling back in 2007. They had talked all about the funerals being held for the Queens and the crew members of the Gambit. Sara’s own funeral had been a quieter affair and had not managed to make the news since many still had not realized that she had been aboard. After that, Felicity never watched it again. Until now, completely by mistake. Though that mistake would be quickly rectified once she had the remote back in her hand after her wine was poured.

            For some reason the news caught her attention. Turning back with her wine, she began to listen.

            _The vigilante struck for a second time. This time going after businessman Adam Hunt. If you see this man know that he is dangerous._

            A sketched image appeared on the screen. One of a man in a hood that covered a majority of his chiseled face. Felicity shivered as she wondered what had drawn such a man out to begin hunting down people in their city.

            _That same man rescued Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen earlier this week from kidnappers. Those same two socialites held a celebration of life for Oliver Queen tonight directly across from where Adam Hunt was attacked._

            Felicity did not hear any more. The sound of glass shattering vibrated through her apartment. Blinking rapidly, Felicity glanced down and realized she stood in a puddle of red wine. It resembled blood as it slowly spread around her feet.

            When Felicity reached blindly at the table next to her for the tissues that should be there, her hand grasped onto one of her many infinitesimal red pens that she seemed to have everywhere. With frustration, Felicity threw it at her television. It managed to land right in between Oliver Queen’s eyes as his face flashed up on the upper right hand corner of her screen. A picture that was only made worse because it had been taken by Sara the fall before she had died as part of her photography class’s project on friends and family.

            Felicity drew in a deep breath as she closed her eyes trying to remain calm. Oliver was back. He was alive. And he may not know it, but he was going to leave her the hell alone. Felicity had done a damn fine job of hiding out in plain sight. There was no way that Oliver was ever going to discover that she had come back to Starling City. The only person who could even give her away was Walter Steele. Sure, he was Oliver’s new step-father, but Felicity had never done one thing in her life to draw the man’s attention. She doubted that her name would ever slip from his lips, even accidently.

            That had to reassure her enough not to run. Running would draw attention. Plus, if Oliver stumbled over her at QC, it was not like he would ever recognize her. She was blonde now. A far cry from the Goth girl that Oliver had known. Felicity released the breath she had drawn in. There was no need to panic, even if she was left to wonder what had led him to be kidnapped after so recent of a return.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            “Felicity,” Oliver screamed as he jerked upright in bed.

            Closing his eyes, Oliver went to sit at the edge of the bed that he was only just getting used to. Something he was not sure if he ever would. He had had the dream again. Ever since the day he had finally gone to QC with his mother and Walter. He had stumbled across a blonde with glasses that looked so similar to the woman he had seen several years ago when he had come to Starling City to take down China White.

            It had always been Felicity’s voice he had heard when he heard her mumble about talking to herself and how cute he was. He knew there was no way it could be her. She was long gone from Starling City. There was no reason for her return. And why the hell would she be blonde?

            And by seeing that woman at QC, Oliver realized how stupid his memories clashed things together. She was a far cry from the girl he had once loved. Still loved. Yet, his dreams would not let the thought go. Each time he dreamed about that night at QC, it was Felicity who entered the CEO’s office. That was how active his imagination could be. Felicity was not in Starling City. And she definitely was not working at his family’s company. If she had been, he was sure he would have heard about it by now. Felicity Smoak was not the kind of girl who went unnoticed. Between her brains and the way she dressed, she was easily identifiable. Plus, Tommy would have known. Felicity had no reason to hide from his best friend.

            Oliver walked over this his bathroom. He threw some water over his face. He was not about to get any more sleep this night. Grabbing some clothes, Oliver decided it was best to head out to the steel factory. He had to catch a killer. Now was as good a time as any.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity finally meet again after five years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let everyone know, there won't be a chapter next week due to Thanksgiving weekend. I will be too busy shopping and spending time with my family. I hope to have my Thanksgiving one-shot up next week instead. I am going to be pretty busy working on a lot of projects coming up, including my Olicity Secret Santa. So, I will see you all in two weeks. Have a great holiday if you celebrating, if you're not, please be safe and happy during my time away.

**Chapter 22**

            Oliver Queen was a man on a mission. He needed to find someone, anyone, who might be able to recover data from the laptop in his hands. The one that he grabbed from Deadshot’s hotel room. Oliver made his way to the IT Department’s floor at QC. There had to be someone there that, even if they could not help him, might know where he could get what he needed. And he needed it immediately, if it was even at all possible, because Deadshot was sure to be going after another target soon.

            “Excuse me,” Oliver noticed a person who seemed to be in some sort of managerial position due to the way that he was treating some of the fellow employees. “I’m looking for IT support.”

            The man gave Oliver a once over before placing on a smile that did not reach his eyes. “I’m the IT Manager. How may I help you, Mr. Queen?”

            “I have this computer and I’m having some trouble getting the information off of it due to an accident I had recently,” Oliver explained indicating the laptop that lay under his arm.

            “Is it one from the company, Mr. Queen?”

            “No. It’s a personal one.”

            The man shook his head and waved Oliver back toward the elevators where he had come from, annoying the hell out of him. If the man had any clue Oliver could snap his neck in half, the man might have rethought his actions. “I’m sorry. Company policy states that I can only work on computers that are assigned to employees.”

            “But…” Oliver barely got another word in because the man walked away as if Oliver was no more important to the company than one of the interns. It was a good thing that Oliver had no desire to step into his father’s footsteps because the asshole who he just spoke to would be fired the first chance he had.

            “Psst.”

            Oliver sharply turned to the side and found an older woman leaning around a cubicle wall. “Hi.”

            “Hi,” she said back before waving him closer. When Oliver was close she indicated he should stop. Apparently, she did not want the manager to know she was talking to him. “There’s a door down the hall, labeled IT Department. There’s a woman there. Felicity can help you.”

            Oliver paused. “Felicity?”

            The woman nodded, but when the manager started to walk back, she turned and resumed whatever she was working on, ignoring Oliver completely. That left Oliver to stand there. She actually said Felicity. But there was no way it could be _his_ Felicity. The chances were slim because for sure Tommy, _or someone_ , would know that Felicity Smoak worked at Queen Consolidated. It had to be a coincidence, a rare one, but one nonetheless. One that Oliver was determined to put to rest. The woman had said Felicity was the one to see, so he was going to see her one way or another.

            Sneaking down the hall so that the manager did not see him, Oliver made his way to the door the woman told him about. He knocked once before turning the knob. Entering the room, it took him a moment to notice the blonde behind the desk. She sat there chewing on a red pen as she examined the book in front of her. But one thing was for sure, she was not his Felicity because this woman was blonde and well dressed, if not a bit frumpy with her style choices.

            Seeing that she still had not noticed he was there, Oliver decided to introduce himself. “Hi. I’m Oliver Queen.”

            The blonde turned, her ponytail swinging as the pen was jerked out of her equally red lips. Seriously, despite the geeky, glasses exterior, Oliver thought she might actually be hot if she tried. But she was hot in a different way. The pen slammed on the table in front of her as blue fire shot up in his direction from her eyes. Familiar eyes.

            “Felicity?” Oliver was not sure how he squeaked even that out. His throat had constricted when he realized why those eyes were so familiar to him. Felicity Smoak, the girl he loved so long ago, the one that still haunted him, sat in front of him.

            She rose from her desk looking almost as overwhelmed by the situation as he felt. But she still maintained that edge of anger. She was definitely still holding the grudge over Sara, just like Laurel. “What do you want, Oliver?”

            “I…” Oliver still could not find the words that he had easily prepared. He was more interested in cataloguing every detail of how Felicity changed. The blonde hair masked the brunette that she used to be. The glasses were back. He had rarely seen her in a pair since she was a sophomore in high school. And the curves that blossomed beneath the pink dress shirt and knee length skirt were hard to hide, though it seemed like she tried. The kid he remembered had become a woman while he was gone. A gorgeous woman. “I… Could you help me?” Felicity stared down at the laptop that Oliver held out to her. “I asked around. I was told you were the person to see.”

            When she took the laptop from his hands, she looked it over and frowned up at him. “What happened to it?”

            “I was at my coffee shop and I spilled a latte on it.”

            Felicity glanced down that the laptop again before her eyes rose to his and she frowned. “Really?”

            “Yeah.”

            Her eyes hit his with the power of a freight train. She cocked her head and stared while she resumed her seat. Oliver had not felt so small in years. “’Cause these look like bullet holes.”

            Oliver tried to smile at her, the charming smile he used to get away with things. But it slowly became real. She was just too damn cute and forthright with her feelings and words. “My coffee shop is in a really bad neighborhood. If there’s anything that you can salvage from it, I would really appreciate it.”

            “Um-hmm.”

            Oliver stood there lost as to what to do next. Felicity Smoak was actually sitting in front of him for the first time in years and he had no idea how to proceed or what to say. Apparently, Tommy had no knowledge of the fact that Felicity was back in Starling or else he would have mentioned it. Oliver was pretty damn sure, Tommy would have definitely rubbed in the fact that Felicity was working at QC of all places.

            Felicity glanced up after plugging the laptop into her system. “Did you want me to call you when I’m finished or are you planning to stay?”

            “Call me.” Oliver jumped on that offer. There was something about Felicity asking to call him that made him even more frazzled. He needed to get the hell out of there and allow his brain to resume its normal function so that he could process what he needed to do from here out.

            “Your number?” Felicity picked up the red pen and held it and a sheet of paper out to him.

            Oliver quickly jotted down his cell phone number. When he handed it back, Felicity studied the numbers and nodded. He watched as she opened a desk drawer and pulled out a cell phone. Oliver just assumed that she was going to save the number on her phone. What he did not expect was his phone to ring inside his jacket pocket. Pulling it out, he noticed an unknown number.

            “That’s me,” Felicity said as she hung up. “Just so you know when I call.”

            “Okay.” Oliver stood there still momentarily unbalanced by his new discovery. Since his phone was still in his hand, Oliver snapped a picture of Felicity as she sat there. He would need it when he walked away to remind him that this had not all been just another dream. “Thanks. I… I’ll… Just be around.”

            “Yeah.” Felicity waved him away and buried her head behind her computer screen as her fingers began to fly over the keyboard. “I’ll call when I’m done. It may take a while.”

 

            Felicity deflated in her chair the second the door closed behind Oliver. What the frack just happened? A ghost from her past had made an appearance in her office. One that was more handsome than the original living soul she remembered.

            Oliver Queen, the one she used to know, was boyishly handsome. He had longer blonde hair that he tended to grip in his hand after scrubbing his face when he was upset. He was broad of shoulder and athletic. He was charming and sweet and drove her insane in a moment’s notice.

            But, this Oliver… This one was different. His smile almost seemed forced in the beginning, like he had forgotten how until the real thing appeared. He was stoic and an enigma of contradictions. He stood in front of her more muscled and chiseled than ever before. It was like the island carved him out of stone. In more ways than one.

            There was an edge to him that made her shrink away despite her anger. It was like he was caged inside his own skin. There was something about him that screamed that he was hiding how he really felt. That he had grown up in ways that the rest of them would never truly understand. Of course, that might happen to anyone who had been shipwrecked on a deserted island, but Felicity had her doubts.

            Throwing her glasses on the desk in front of her, Felicity rubbed her eyes before coming forward to rest her head on her desk. Only it encountered the laptop that Oliver had given her. Placing her glasses back on, Felicity picked up her red pen and inserted it within one of the holes that littered the laptop.

_Coffee, my ass_. There was not one single stain or watermark on the entire device. In fact, despite the deep gaping holes, the laptop seemed like it had been in pretty good condition. Which was in her favor. However, the depth of the holes severed some of the components. She would have to figure out a way to work around them and still extrapolate the data from the mainframe.

            While it was in her job description to help recover computers, Felicity was not quite sure she wanted to fix this one. Even if the puzzle as to how to get the information out was fascinating. Because all of that meant one thing. She would have to call Oliver back to her office and see him again and she was not quite sure she was ready for that. But, with one last glance at the laptop, Felicity knew that her days of hiding were officially over. She might as well face the piper. Even if that meant that she had to deal with Oliver Queen twice in the same day.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver needed a drink. No, he needed to get rip roaring drunk. That was not possible. Stuffing his duffel bag into a trash can, Oliver straightened his tie. Right now, he had to catch a killer, not think about the fact that Felicity sat next to him for a good twenty minutes as they went over what was on Deadshot’s laptop.

            Oliver was not sure why he was so bothered by that. Felicity seemed indifferent to his presence when he returned to her office. They could have been strangers for all the deference she showed him. Nothing more than the son of the boss. And that bugged him even more. They had a past. A history. One that she instead chose to ignore. One that he could not forget.

            Oliver scolded himself. His attention had to be focused and if he thought about his interaction with Felicity it would not be. He had to compartmentalize. Push aside his feelings for Felicity while he dealt with the most immediate threat. He needed to be the vigilante right here, right now. Felicity had nothing to do with that.

            Gazing around the room from the balcony, Oliver watched Warren Patel being arrested. At least his tip had been taken care of in spite of Detective Lance’s distaste for the vigilante and all he stood for. That was one good thing to happen. Maybe Oliver’s luck was changing. Now, all he had to do was find out where the killer would be.

            Oliver descended the stairs and ran into Detective Lance. Speaking of compartmentalizing his past.

            “Don’t you scrub up nice,” Lance said snidely.

            “Here to support my family,” Oliver responded hoping that Lance would fall for it.

            “Yeah, me too. God help me.”

            Oliver glanced over at the older man who had made an impact on him in his younger years. “Thank you.”

            Detective Lance only snorted and walked away.

            _Well, that went well. Not_. Spotting Diggle, Oliver walked over to the man he was slowly beginning to see as an equal. John was a good man and Oliver was half tempted to ask the man to join in on his mission. But the trust was not there yet. “Digg. Got your eyes open?”

            “That’s what I’m here for, sir,” John said in his usual manner that stated he was annoyed by Oliver. “That and for answering patronizing questions.”

            Oliver scanned the room as he stood near the larger man. So far, there had not been any sign anything was going to happen. Oliver could only hope that was true, but he was doubtful. “This guy is out of time. If he’s going to do something, it’s going to happen before the auction.”

            “Sir?” Digg looked over at him, his brow furled in spite of his still neutral expression.

            “I heard the story on the radio,” Oliver defended, cursing himself inwardly. He really needed to pay attention to what he was saying. This thing with Felicity was still messing with his head.

            Oliver decided to make his escape before Diggle could question him further. Maybe he needed to check up on his family. But first, a talk with Walter, who had the possibility of being a target.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Fiddling with an arrow, Oliver sat in front of a blank computer screen waiting for Diggle to wake up. Unfortunately, that left Oliver with plenty of time to think. These days he was much more comfortable with action than downtime such as this.

            And that left his mind to concentrate on the one thing he had been putting off all night long. Felicity Smoak. Questions surrounded every thought. Why was she back in Starling City? Why was she working at QC as nothing more than a simple IT girl when she had to have much bigger prospects out of college? When had she come back? Why had she not told anyone? Why and when had she changed her appearance so drastically? That last one completely threw Oliver for a loop. He had actually liked the Goth look on her, if not the attitude that seemed to derive from the people she hung out with during it. Not that Oliver wasn’t fond of the new Felicity. No, if fact, Oliver was quite fond of the way she looked earlier. Too fond, if his body’s reaction to the memory was anything to go by.

            There was one main question that floated around, wrapping around all the rest. What was Oliver going to do now that he knew she was here? Avoiding her would probably be the best choice. But, even now, Oliver’s fingers itched to reach for his phone for no other reason than to see the most recent picture he had of her. To call and hear her voice as he once almost had back in Hong Kong.

            However, there was one main thing that lingered. Felicity had been brilliant at retrieving the data that Oliver seriously doubted could be recovered from Deadshot’s laptop. Even Anatoly had not known anyone who could manage such a task. Oliver knew he might need her again. And he could trust her. At least the old her. Only, could he manage to be around her and not wish for more? Because already that pain in his chest lingered at the thought that he might lose her again. If it took just casual meetings to keep her in his life, he’d be more than willing to take it. At least he would see her. Hear her voice. But he could never touch. Touching was personal and he could not get into that level of involvement with anyone. It meant that they might discover the secret he held within.

            Hearing a sound, Oliver turned in his chair. Digg was waking up from where Oliver had laid him on a medical table. “Hey.”

            “Oliver?” Digg stared at him confused as he began to sit up. He still held onto his wound that Oliver had done his best to see closed from the bullet wound that Deadshot had inflicted. Diggle’s eyes began to narrow and disgust lined his face. “You’re that vigilante.”

            Oliver rose in case he was need the catch the larger man who insisted on standing up. Diggle was vastly unsteady and could cause his wound to reopen if he went down the wrong way. Only Digg decided to take a swing at him, which Oliver easily avoided. “Easy, Digg. You were poisoned.”

            Digg took another swing as he mumbled, “Son of a bitch.”

            This time Digg stumbled and Oliver caught him, helping him into the chair that Oliver vacated earlier. “I could’ve taken you anywhere. I could have taken you home. I brought you here.”

            It was Oliver’s way of telling him he trusted him. Not many people had earned that trust over the years. But, as Diggle rose again, Oliver wondered if he had not bet wrongly. It seemed he had lost Diggle’s trust in the process.

            “You really did lose your mind on that island.”

            “Found a couple of things along the way.” And by what happened today, finding things seemed like a generalized theme for him.

            “Like what archery classes?”

            “Clarity,” Oliver told him simply. “Starling City is dying. It is being poisoned by a criminal elite who don’t care who they hurt. As long as they maintain their wealth and power.”

            Diggle crossed his arms, but Oliver noticed he did it in pain. “And what are you going to do? Take them all down by your lonesome?”

            “No.” Oliver pointed at the man in front of him. “No, I want you to help me. Special Forces out of Kandahar. Perfect. You’re a fellow soldier.”

            Diggle shook his head as if Oliver had said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. “Oliver, you’re not a soldier. You’re a criminal. And a murderer.”

            Oliver had no choice but to watch the man leave. He had been so sure that Diggle was the kind of guy who might help him. Not that Oliver could not do this on his own. It had been his original plan after all. But it was lonesome to not tell anyone his secret, who he really was. Not everyone could handle, or understand, the life that Oliver chose to live. Not even Anatoly understood, which was why he helped him go home. This monster that lay under Oliver’s exterior helped him survive five years of a hellish existence.

            Secrets tended to be harder for the bearer than for the ones sheltered from them. The monster that lived inside Oliver had to constantly be tempered down. It was the only way that he could protect his family and friends from the blackening shadows that penetrated his soul.

            Oliver could not taint the ones he loved and cared for with the darkness that ran through him. That was why he lived two separate lives. Only his life as Oliver Queen felt like a heavier mantle than the hood that he wore. There was only one time since his return that the cloak had felt lighter. It was inside Queen Consolidated when he faced the one woman he had thought about too often through the years. Felicity Smoak.

            She made his heart lighter. He didn’t feel the evil tugging at him dragging him down into its depths. It was eclipsed by the light she brought forth, even under her anger and indifference. But while he craved that light, he knew he should stay far away from her. He gave Laurel a warning to stay away from him. Oliver knew he should learn to listen to his own advice when it came to Felicity. Just the thought of living without her light left Oliver feeling bereft. Like he was finally succumbing to that very monster he believed he was.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Felicity flopped back on her couch mentally exhausted. Oliver Queen was not only alive, she saw him. And he saw her, making all the hiding she had done through the years for naught.

            She had purposefully avoided their friends, mutual or not, in fear that someone might draw her back into the open. Not that she had any belief that Oliver was alive. But because being back in his realm was something that she was not sure she could handle without her emotions rising up.

            Oliver Queen found her anyway, almost as soon as he returned. All because of a crazy shot up laptop. It was like something out of one of the sci-fi movies she was so fond of. But still almost as unbelievable. _What was next? Real life aliens, people who could move things with their minds, or space ships that could travel in time?_

            Shaking her head, Felicity reached for her pint of mint chip that sat in front of her already with a spoon inside and the television remote. She settled back and did the unthinkable and turned on the television with the thought to turn on the news that was about to come on at any moment. Only, it was already on with breaking news.

            Headlines ran across the screen as Felicity jumped up. The melted section of the ice cream sloshed over the side hitting the floor with a plop, while her spoon bounced off her foot, causing pain that she dismissed because her brain was still trying to process what was happening in front of her.

            The scene showed people standing around outside of the Exchange Building while police still searched inside and around the surrounding buildings. There had been a shooting. One person was dead, one in critical condition and several others injured. Warren Patel had been arrested earlier in connection to previous shootings.

            _The Exchange Building. Warren Patel. Oliver Queen. The laptop._

            _Was Oliver the killer?_ She had helped him get information off that computer with schematics of the Exchange Building. What did she really know about him anymore? Maybe he had been working with this Warren Patel guy. But then Oliver had said something about Floyd Lawton. _Who was he and what did he have to do with all of this and Oliver?_

            Felicity began to shake. This could not be real. _Who had Oliver become when he was away? Did she have any clue? Frack!_

            Unmindful of the mess at her feet, Felicity slipped down to the floor and cried for the boy that used to be. The one that she had once loved.

                       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of Chapter 3:
> 
> “Oh, God!” Felicity’s hand slapped onto her lips. She had suspected that he might be the vigilante, but the cops had proof? Did that mean that the police might find out that she helped him? Her brain had a million different questions and scenarios running through it. None of them good.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has been arrested and Felicity worries that soon she will be caught as well, while Oliver battles demons new and old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The holiday season is upon us and I am so busy that it is incredible, which is why this chapter is later than anticipated. And I can't say for sure that the upcoming chapters might not befall the same fate. I will try to post weekly, but I cannot guarantee that will happen during this month. So, please be patient. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. They mean the world to me, especially during these hectic times in my life.

            Felicity sat behind her desk two weeks later nursing a strong cup of coffee. It had become her thing to have cup of black coffee the second she walked through her office doors. Maybe it was preparation for that inevitable next meeting with Oliver. The fact that he had not returned since he showed up to gain what information she had on the laptop worried her. Because the Oliver she remembered would not have been able to let go of the fact that she was hiding from everyone she used to know.

            The coffee was almost finished when she heard the excited voices outside her door only getting louder and louder. Felicity was half tempted to go and find out what had everyone in a tizzy but her boss had already dropped off a huge pile of paperwork on her desk and a task list that was sure to take her until ten that evening to finish.

            Dismissing it all, Felicity rose from her chair and went to discover exactly why everyone was so animated. Spotting Carolyn, the office floor’s major gossip, with a group of people, Felicity headed in her direction. “What’s going on?”

            Five faces turned to her their mouths agape. “You haven’t heard?” was the most asked question that revolved around her.

            Carolyn shook her head and pulled her phone from her pocket. “You have to see this, Felicity.”

            The video was from one of the local news stations. So, here she was watching the news _again_. It was becoming a habit ever since Oliver reentered her life. And, of course, the whole report was about him. He was tugged out of the Queen Mansion in handcuffs. The headline under it all was that Oliver Queen was being arrested for murder and vigilantism.

            “Oh, God!” Felicity’s hand slapped onto her lips. She had suspected that he might be the vigilante, but the cops had proof? Did that mean that the police might find out that she helped him? Her brain had a million different questions and scenarios running through it. None of them good.

            “I bet his mom is going to use company resources to get him out,” a young intern said, drawing Felicity from her own head.

            Carolyn snorted. “It’s not like he can ask his ex. I’m sure Laurel would be the first one to light the pyre after what he did to her with her sister.”

            “And her father was the arresting officer,” Stan from accounting, who happened to be Carolyn’s husband, mentioned. “This is not looking good for him.”

            Carolyn nudged Felicity. “Money against the law. Who do you think will win?”

            “Does it matter? That whole family must feel destroyed.” Felicity shot them all a contemptuous glare. Not being able to take any more of the gossip, and sorry that she decided to find out, Felicity headed back for her office.

            She flopped down in her chair and threw her glasses on her desk. What had she gotten involved in? First there was the fact that she had helped a man who was accused of murder and then there was the fact that she had agreed to help Walter discover secrets that Moira Queen was hiding. It was a tangled web and should any of it become uncovered, Felicity was unsure of where that would land her. Jobless at best. In jail in the worst case scenario. Either was not a recourse that she wished to accept.

            Picking up her glasses, Felicity set about encrypting all the information that she obtained thus far for Walter. As for Oliver, Felicity buried the history and set it so that it ghosted within the system. It would take a damn good hacker to retrieve those pieces of information. Satisfied that she did the best she could for now, Felicity took a cleansing breath and set about her actual work for the day. At least one thing came out of this, she would not be seeing Oliver for a while.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            So far everything was going as planned. Though it was a little sooner than Oliver had planned. Diggle had only just jumped onboard the mission minutes before Oliver’s arrest. One glimmer of hope made Oliver sure that things would be turning in his favor. Laurel had agreed to defend him against her father and the city.

            There was a moment of doubt when she had turned down his mother and he ended up at court without her, but that didn’t bother him so much as when she told him that he could not be the vigilante for one reason: the vigilante was out there trying to make a difference. Laurel had smiled at him smugly and said that like the vigilante was completely different from who Oliver was. Oliver knew that was the exact perception that he wanted everyone to have but to hear it from someone he once cared about hurt.

            Determined to stay true to his plan, Oliver announced to his family and Tommy that he wanted to hold a party. He needed a large group of people to verify his alibi. Thus, the horribly perfect idea of a party.

            “A sizeable get together?” Moira practically yelled before she gained control of her emotions.

            Oliver shrugged. “I’m confined to this house for the foreseeable future. I might as well make the most of it.” Oliver turned to Tommy who was seated next to him on the couch. His best friend was always great when it came to parties. And he did hold the large coming home party for him that turned out to be a Godsend for his attack on Adam Hunt. “This party is going to be themed. I’m thinking prison. Burning man meets Shawshank Redemption.” Oliver swept his hands across to introduce the headline that the press would use to describe the party. “The invite says come before Oliver gets off.”

            Oliver watched his new step-father, Walter Steele, walk back into the room and check his watch. It made Oliver wonder what was so important that he was concerned over the time. There was an undercurrent over the last couple of weeks between his mom and Walter that Oliver had yet to put his finger on.

            “Maybe a party isn’t in the best taste,” Tommy warned him, his face lined in concern. “You know considering the circumstances.”

            Oliver slapped his best friend on the back, despite the fact that Oliver would fully agree with him under other conditions, and smiled. “Tommy, the circumstances are why we’re having the party in the first place. I want people to know that I’m not worried about any of this.”

            Moira held her head in her hand as if trying to rub away a headache. She let out a sigh and Oliver knew she was anything but happy. “Well, that makes one of us.”

            Oliver hated that his family and friends were so worried for him. Sure things could take a turn and not work out as he had planned but he doubted that. Yet, worry invaded Oliver’s own thoughts. What if Diggle could not pull off the impression of the Hood? What if he would not do it? Oliver had yet to ask him. What if Felicity linked the computer to what happened at the Exchange Building and decided to approach the police? “Tommy?”

            “Yeah?” Tommy paused after he rose from the couch. He glanced down at Oliver. There were still worry lines that creased his brow.

            “Make sure you invite Felicity Smoak.”

            “Felicity?” The worry lines changed into confusion. Tommy propped himself on the edge of the couch. It was like his legs could not hold him. “How am I supposed to find her? Absolutely no one has heard from her in years.”

            Oliver stared up at his friend knowing what he was about to say would be a shock. “She works at Queen Consolidated. In the IT Department.”

            “What?” Tommy jumped up and began to pace. “Why would she not say something?” Tommy waved at Oliver. “Understandably, she is pissed off at you. But me? What did I do?”

            “I don’t know, Tommy.” Oliver had yet to discover a lot of thing when it came to Felicity. It was something he intended to rectify once this arrest business was taken care of.

            Tommy stopped his pacing and faced Oliver. “Do I even want to know how you discovered her?” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants and studied his friend. “And why would you want her here? Between her, Detective Lance and Laurel, are you trying to set up your own personal lynch party? Hell, I’m still in shock that Laurel decided to defend you.”

            Oliver smiled and rose from the couch. “Felicity didn’t try to kill me, so there’s that. Not that I’m not completely sure that she didn’t think about it.”

            Tommy laughed. He walked over and slapped Oliver on the shoulder. “I hope you’re not thinking about asking the hacking queen to erase your charges, because as smart as she is and as upset as she was by the fact that you ran off with Sara, she might see to it that you never reach trial and go straight to the chair.”

            Despite Oliver’s chuckle, he fretted over the fact that what Tommy said had merit. How badly had he screwed up by not talking to Felicity when he had the chance all those years ago? She would have known that there was nothing between him and Sara. Of course, that might have put her on a trajectory that might have meant that it was her and not Tommy who ended up in Hong Kong. Waller would not have hired a hit on a woman. It would have been a lot less direct. Oliver shuddered at the thought.

            “So, how did she end up at QC without our knowledge?” Tommy asked drawing Oliver out of the morbid thoughts that would probably only bring on more bad dreams the second he rested his head.

            Shrugging, Oliver shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t get the chance to ask her. Maybe Walter hired her. He might not have been aware of our history.”

            “Oliver.” Tommy drew Oliver’s attention to him.

            “Yeah?”

            “Remember it is history. Don’t dredge up the past. Sometimes clear water can be deceiving.”

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            By Friday, Felicity was so ready for the weekend. Ever since Oliver was arrested she went to work with a heavy heart. She was not sure if she would show up and the police would be there waiting for her.

            The only time she escaped the agony of worry was when she was working on the project for Walter Steele. There had to be more to Tempest, she was sure of it. Felicity suspected that Walter even knew more than what he let on, but it was not like she could walk up and accuse him of hiding things from her. Which meant that she had to search harder for the answers for both of them.

            Even though Felicity had been working at QC for a few years now, it still felt strange to be so involved with the Queen family again. And she was on so many levels. Scary levels that she never touched on even back when she could have been claimed as a friend to Oliver.

            _A friend of Oliver’s._ Felicity snorted. Was that ever true? She could not pinpoint what they ever were to each other, especially now that she had the perspective of an adult. Acquaintances did not quite fit. Friendship indicated a level that Felicity thought that they might have achieved had Oliver not constantly pushed her away. Which was the weirdest thing about all of it. There were times when the two of them had seemed so close. On Felicity’s part, there had been a spark of attraction, even a glimpse of her first love. He was a beautiful flame that you were desperate to touch but would end up burned if you came too close.

            Now, after all of these years, Felicity felt like she was about to truly feel the pain from the burn. Her feet were to the flames and all it would take was a single word from Oliver for the fire to consume her.

            A knock sounded on her door and she jumped and quickly slammed her tablet into her drawer. “Come in.”

            Felicity was hardly ever at a loss for words. Most people would claim there were moments she would not shut up. Yet, seeing Tommy Merlyn walking through the door to her office left her speechless.

            “Felicity?” Tommy’s eyes swept over her taking in every detail of her appearance. She knew the exact moment he recognized her because the famous Tommy Merlyn grin spread across his face. A smile that she did not realize how much she missed until this moment. “Felicity Smoak, where the hell have you been hiding?”         

            Laughing, Felicity rose to greet her friend. “Right here. How are you, Tommy?”

            He wrapped her in a hug instead of answering her question. She missed him so much. Tears began to prick at her eyes as she hugged him back.

            Tommy pulled her away but kept her firmly attached his grip. His gaze swept over her again before he tugged her back into another hug with a laugh. “Oliver told me he saw you and I almost didn’t believe him.”

            “He told you…” Felicity almost choked on the words. What else had he told Tommy? The two of them had always been so close. Felicity released herself from his hold and rested against the edge of her desk. She needed it for support. Tommy did not seem so effected by all of it and sat down in the chair across from her desk still smiling.

            “He told me to give you this.” Tommy reached inside his jacket and then handed her an envelope that he retrieved from it.

            Felicity hesitantly took it from Tommy. It could be a poisonous snake or a tempting apple. She would never know until she looked inside. But did she want to? For once the hacker in her pleaded ignorance was bliss. “Wha… What is it?”

            Tommy seemed exasperated all of a sudden as he rolled his eyes showing her that he was. “Oliver decided to have a party.”

            “A party?” Felicity set the envelope down on her desk and crossed her arms. “Seriously? Like a ‘ _hey-I’m-being-accused-of-murder-but-let’s-have-fun-until-they-stick-a-needle-in-my-arm’_ party?”

            “Something like that,” Tommy answered drolly.

            Felicity leaned forward and whispered. “Did he lose his mind?”

            “I half wonder,” Tommy admitted with a laugh. “This is going a little far even for Ollie’s standards.”

            Felicity resumed her crossed arms stance and cocked her head. “What is he trying to prove with all of this?”

            “That he’s innocent?” Tommy asked.

            “You’re his best friend,” Felicity told him as her pose relaxed, shocked that Tommy had seemed so unsure, “shouldn’t you sound a little more convincing?”

            “I would if I was more convinced myself.” Tommy pushed up and out of the chair. He grasped her hand and squeezed. It was comforting, unlike his words. “Come to the party. If not for Ollie, than for me. I want to catch up with you, but if I don’t leave right now, I’m going to be late to a meeting for this inappropriate shindig.”

            Tommy began to leave but Felicity ran up and caught up to him at her door. “Tommy? I’ll come.”

            He nodded at her and leaned down to peck her on the cheek. “Great. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Tommy winked at her. “You do remember where the mansion is, right?”

            “How could I forget?” Felicity said with a laugh she did not feel. She still was not quite sure why she agreed to go. She definitely did not want to. Not just because of Oliver, but because of Moira and Tempest. “And Tommy?”

            “Yeah?” He faced her, looking much older than he should have.

            “Is Oliver really the vigilante?”

            “I don’t know.” Tommy stood in front of her with a lost expression. One that said that he desperately wanted to believe the man he grew up with, the man who had been like a brother, the man who was his best friend, was not the monster that the press made him out to be.

            Felicity nodded feeling the same way. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            Tommy reached out and hugged her again. “Thank you, Felicity.”

            She watched him leave and wondered what she had just signed on for. While it had been nice to see a friend that she had denied herself from seeing for years, it all led to being even more involved with the very man that had her wondering if she was the next person to be arrested.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver roamed around the party making sure as many people as possible saw him, took pictures and blasted out on social media where he was and what he was doing. It was all part of the groundwork he was laying in preparation for the inevitable vigilante sighting that was to come.

            Spotting Detective Lance off to the side, Oliver hopped onto the small stage that was set up right on the limits of where he could go without the police invading with a SWAT team. With a motion to the DJ, Oliver decided a speech was in order. It would draw even more attention to him and with Detective Lance there to see it all.

            “Hi, everybody. I’m touched that you came to celebrate with me before I am sent up the river.” Oliver motioned around him. “The closest neighbors are six miles away so don’t worry about the noise. Actually, on second thought, let’s wake those losers up.”

            The crowd cheered as Oliver signaled to the DJ to resume while he jumped down from the stage. Diggle was there waiting for him. It was a good thing because Oliver really needed to talk to him.

            Diggle nodded toward the crowd and scoffed. “If you think this is what prison’s like, you are in for a rude awakening.”

            Oliver had no wish to tell his newfound partner that he had probably spent more time in prisons than the man could ever imagine. It was not a story that he had the time, or desire, to share.

            Directing him into the house, Oliver had every intention of taking Diggle up to his bedroom where he planned to debrief him on what he was needed to do. Only Oliver spotted a blonde head over by the bar that had been set up. Normally, Oliver would have just ignored it, but Felicity always had a way of drawing him in. It was like some connection that only the two of them shared. A magnetic pull. Grabbing Digg’s arm, Oliver turned to him. “I’ll meet you upstairs in a minute. I need to talk to someone.”

            Diggle’s eyes traveled over to where Oliver’s interest lay and a smirk appeared on his face. “Sure.”

            Oliver walked over to the bar and signaled to the bartender. The guy poured a Scotch and handed it over to Oliver. Sidling over to Felicity, Oliver tried hard to relax. “You do realize that there was a theme to this party, right?”

            Felicity turned slowly to face him. Her brow creased as she studied him. “Because you wanted to go all Prison Break? Yeah, I may have read that on the invite that Tommy gave me.”

            “I’m just surprised you came.”

            She shrugged. “Tommy asked me to.”

            Oliver took in the low hanging ponytail and glasses, as well as the pink cardigan over an unbecoming, equally pink dress. She completed the look with a pair of pink and black flats that held little panda faces at the tip. It was not one of the better looks she sported over the years, but then he never judged her because he was too busy admiring everything else about her. Felicity looked as small and young as she actually was. While she had grown up, she really hadn’t aged a bit.

            His fingers contracted, rubbing together. He had made himself a promise to stay away from her. Oliver was already violating that promise, so there was no way that he could reach out and touch. Taking his drink in hand, Oliver raised it to his lips and swallowed the entire contents. Fortification. That was what he needed to do the impossible and walk away from her like he should.

            He had already searched her out unknowingly. One too many times already. The laptop forced his hand but he would need to be more careful. Oliver refused to take a chance that Felicity could be implicated in what he was doing. He had already placed her in a position that was uncomfortable.

            “Oliver?” Her voice stopped him as he turned to leave.

            His eyes met hers. He grit his teeth until pain resonated in his head from the pressure. “Did you need something?”

            Felicity’s head cocked to the side, as she used to do when she was contemplating something or just staring at him like he could not be serious with whatever he was doing. Finally, she shook her head. “Nothing.”

            Oliver reached out for her. She stepped back slightly but was blocked by the bar. He stepped forward into her personal space because something was wrong. She might not say anything but there was something on her mind. “What is it?”

            “I…”

            “Felicity? You’re here?”

            Oliver’s head swiveled so he could see who interrupted them. Laurel. Oliver closed his eyes. Why was she here? This could not be good. Turning back to Felicity, Oliver met her eyes. “I’ll talk to you later.”

            She nodded and that had to satisfy him for now. Going to face Laurel, he blocked her path to seeing Felicity. It was protective move on his part. One that he had done almost since the day that he had met her. Funny now that he was the man that she needed protection from the most. “What are you doing here, Laurel?”

            Laurel’s brown furled and she tried to lean around him. “Is that Felicity? It sounded like her.”

            Making sure that Felicity’s back was turned, Oliver allowed Laurel access to see who was there. He knew she would not recognize the blonde that Felicity had become. Of course, with what was happening between Tommy and Laurel, Tommy was sure to spill the beans soon. That did not mean that Oliver had to place Felicity in her line of fire on her first outing out among the crowd that used to once be some of their mutual acquaintances.

            Laurel seemed satisfied. She motioned upstairs. “Can we talk?”

            “Sure. I need to talk to Diggle real fast and then we can talk all you want. Meet me upstairs in ten minutes.” That would give Oliver time to debrief Diggle on the plan. Then he could deal with whatever crisis that had Laurel looking so concerned.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver could not believe things had gone as far as they had with Laurel. Turning, he watched her grab her purse and walk out his bedroom door. Fuck it all. He kissed her. What the hell was he thinking? His life apparently was not complicated enough.

            Reaching for the buttons of his shirt, he heard a sharp intake of breath. His hands froze while his head turned upwards to find Felicity standing there in his doorway. _Shit_. She was the last person he wanted to see the scars that littered his body. Trying to button his shirt as quickly as possible, he was stopped by her hands on his.

            “You don’t have to tell me,” Felicity said. “I’m just sorry it happened. You didn’t deserve whatever happened to you.”

            “I thought you were mad at me.”

            Felicity shook her head. “I was more disappointed.” She smoothed her hands over his, pulling them down from his chest. “I never wanted you to die. Or to suffer like this.”

            She never would, unless she heard about the man he became. If she had any clue that he was the vigilante and that he killed too many people to count, she might have a change of heart. But then that was not who Felicity was. She might get mad at him, rant at him, but she always forgave him. He had disappointed her on too many occasions to count, and yet, the hand of peace was always extended his way. Oliver never once deserved her support. Though he always was happy to have it. And he needed it now more than ever.

            Felicity’s face was raised so she stared at him in the eyes. They did not float down and try to take peeks of what the past five years did to him. She still saw _him_ through all the pain and suffering. And that scared him, more than he liked.

            “You should go,” Oliver told her through gritted teeth.

            He was not sure what to expect, but he did not expect her to only nod and make her way out of his room. When she grabbed a hold of the door, she turned to face him. “I’m sorry.”

            “Not as much as I am.”

            Felicity nodded again and closed the door behind her leaving Oliver alone. He felt the need to chase her and explain why. The phone ringing had him stopping before he did exactly that.

            It was Diggle. He gave Oliver a run down about what had happened. When there was a knock on the door, Oliver asked his friend to hold. Felicity might be back. And he needed to talk to her. To tell her that he wanted her to stay as far away from him as she could, just like he had told Laurel. Only the person at the door was far from being the blonde that haunted him.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver paced the lair before stopping by his trunk and flipping open the lid. Between being attacked in his own room, his confrontation with Tommy after it all happened, and being released from all charges, Oliver was having an eventful night. That did not even include the disasters that occurred with two different women in his room. But that did have a lot to do with his fight with Tommy. Luckily, both woman managed to leave the house before the melee occurred. Especially, Felicity. She already seemed to see too much already. Then again, she always had.

            But, Felicity was not the only one who was suspicious. Laurel had come to him and accused him of lying and she wasn’t wrong. Not that he could tell her that. Only now she had seen his scars and she was convinced he was not quite just the selfish playboy who had never experienced pain and loss.

            “So, you lied to her,” Diggle said referring to Laurel. Oliver had already recanted to him the story of all that had played out within the mansion. Or most of it. Oliver tended to keep the stuff that happened between him and Felicity in his room closer to his chest for now. “Or maybe you just gave her a version of the truth.”

            Oliver gave everyone a version of the truth, even Diggle. Trust was a commodity that he did not share freely. “I just told her what she needed to hear, Diggle. She was too close.”

            Digg snorted. “Sad thing is, I think you actually believe that. I think things didn’t go down exactly as you planned. You didn’t count on so many people having questions. Doubting you.”

            Oliver turned from where he stood and glared at Diggle. He did not need to hear this. Oliver was already aware of the pitfalls that had landed around him.

            “You didn’t think about what happens when you lie to the ones you love the most. When you were stuck on that island plotting your grand plan to save the city, I don’t think you stopped to consider the effect on the people in your life,” Diggle continued to lecture. “Or how it might hurt them.”

            “You’re wrong,” Oliver denied. “I think about it all the time. And just to be clear, not being able to tell my family the truth doesn’t hurt anyone worse than it hurts me.”

            “Where are you going?” Diggle asked when Oliver swiped his hood from the table.

            “Mueller still has to sell those guns and I have to stop him.” Oliver didn’t even stop. He had places to go and thoughts to erase. Guilt, worry, and pain needed to be buried. Mueller needed to pay for his crimes and Oliver was the one who would see that it was done correctly.

            “Oliver!” Diggle scolded in an attempt to stop him.

            “He had his chance.” And Oliver needed to rid himself of the overwhelming frustration that settled inside him. Diggle and Laurel had pressed on nerves that were still too raw. And Felicity made his heart feel things that he had long forgotten. All of them needed to be protected. Not just from his secrets but from some the most harsh realities out there. Or at least the ones that Oliver could battle.

            And battling the monsters in Starling City and in Oliver Queen were his specialty. That meant he had to settle on a path that would save his loved ones and allow the monster that had been created inside of him to be set free. A murderous fiend that would destroy the darkness out of anyone that stood in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview Chapter 4:
> 
> “Felicity, let go. I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice came out rough, pleading.  
>  “That’s my dinner,” she complained.  
>  “Correction.” Oliver peeled her hand off the handle and set it by her side before opening the door. “It was your dinner.” Oliver reached inside his pocket and pulled a folded up fifty from his pocket and handed it to the guy. “Keep the change and leave the food there. Thanks.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver searches Felicity out to find out more information on Derek Reston.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me over the holidays. It gave me time to make the holidays special for my family and allow me to catch up a little on this story.

            “So where are we going exactly?” Diggle asked as they entered the elevator at Queen Consolidated a week later.

            “To visit a friend.” Oliver bobbed his head from side to side as if even he was uncertain of his own words. “Sort of.”

            “Does this friend have a name?”

            “Felicity Smoak,” Oliver told him. Diggle’s eyes rolled upwards. By his expression, Oliver could tell he already dismissed this whole meeting as nothing more than superficial. “Not that kind of friend, Digg.” Not that Oliver had not thought about it. Actually, since his return the thoughts of what could have been between him and Felicity haunted him more and more. If he had never left on the Gambit, maybe he and Felicity could have managed to finally make something of the feelings that circled around them for years. It might be too late for them, but that did not mean that Oliver could stay away from her any more than he could when he was younger, which was the exact reason he was at QC now. Well, that and Felicity had a certain skill set that he needed.

            “What’s the plan?” Diggle asked him as the elevator ascended up to the floor where Felicity would be located.

            “I’m going to see if she can pull up any information on Reston.”

            The elevator opened and the two men stepped out at the executive floor. Oliver had left a message on Felicity’s phone to meet them there, so he wasn’t surprised to find her there already.

            “Well, that’s different,” Diggle said with a slight bit of awe in his voice when he took in Felicity’s appearance.

            Oliver glared over at him before he pulled open the door to the offices that Walter used. “I told you. She’s a friend.”

            Felicity looked up from her laptop and smiled at the two of them. Though if Oliver was not wrong, the smile seemed tentative. _What was making her so nervous?_ “What did you need today?”

            Diggle went to go lean against Walter’s desk while Oliver settled on the couch across from Felicity. Oliver studied her for a moment. She did not look much different from the last time he had seen her at the offices. In fact, he was pretty sure that was the same pink blouse. The one he memorized on his phone.

            “Oliver?”

            Her question snapped him out of his thoughts. “Sorry. I was hoping that you could help me track someone.”

           

            Diggle watched the two of them interact and he smiled. Oliver might claim that this girl was just a friend, but there was definitely more to the story that what Oliver had told.

            Felicity had this cute way of talking back to Oliver without being outwardly insulting and by Oliver’s reactions, he was not immune. Oliver actually seemed animated with the blonde present. It was a side of him that Diggle had never really seen before. Not even when Oliver was around Tommy, Laurel or his family.

            There was really only one other person that Oliver seemed to let down his guard with and that was Thea. For all the stories that Diggle had heard about Oliver and Laurel, he more expected this kind of reaction from the two of them, rather than the one in front of him now.

            Which led to the question, who was Felicity Smoak in relation to Oliver Queen? She was not exactly the type that Diggle would have pictured for the man he was getting to know. Let alone the kid he used to be. Felicity seemed to have a bullshit meter where Oliver was concerned. One that even Oliver’s own mother lacked. It was exactly what Oliver needed and avoided.

            Oliver preferred to lie and hide from anyone who got too close. Which was strange since this woman Oliver specifically sought out, revealing things with his questions and searches that could lead to questions about what Oliver was hiding. Diggle had seen his friend with computers. He wasn’t a novice. Diggle was pretty sure that Oliver could have discovered what he needed to know about Derek Reston all on his own. Oliver had rigged the forty million dollar heist from Adam Hunt after all. Discovering that Weston worked for QC before disappearing off the grid did not seem as complicated.

            When Felicity rose to leave, Digg did too. He walked quickly over to the doors to hold them open for her. It gave him that much more time to study the woman who intrigued Oliver so much. The second the doors were closed, it was time to get back to business. “What’s the plan now, boss?”

            “Now we talk to Derek Reston.” Oliver rose from the couch and walked over to Diggle’s side.

            “Did you get everything you needed from Felicity?” Diggle noticed the slight change in Oliver’s expression at the mention of her name. The fact that Oliver clammed up until they reached the bunker gave Diggle all the answers he needed.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Felicity stood in front of her closet and sighed. Even if she wanted to go to the fundraiser Tommy was throwing for CNRI, she had nothing to wear. Throwing the invitation that lay in her hand on the bed, Felicity reached for her phone. She’d just have to call Tommy and let him know she wasn’t coming. It would be so much easier over the phone anyway. It was the fact that he talked her into it over lunch with all his Tommy Merlyn charm that led to the situation she was currently in.

            Leaving a message, Felicity redialed the phone to order in some Chinese food and began to wait. The waiting brought her over to her laptop and she pulled it onto her lap as she collapsed on the couch. Walter may have left town for a business trip, but that did not mean there wasn’t more to find on Tempest. Only her fingers froze over the keyboard as she remembered her earlier meeting with Oliver.

            What was going on with him? First he brings her a laptop riddled with bullets. If he had his way, she would have just ignored that fact. Then when she went to his part and he barely spoke a dozen sentences to her. He seemed like all he wanted to do was push her away, much as he had when they were younger. So, why ask to see her again? About a friend that Felicity was pretty sure that he never really knew.

            None of it made any sense. Neither did his attitude. One minute he was the charming guy everyone thought he was, the next sullen and reserved. When he noticed that people were getting too close to him, he shut down completely and escaped. If not literally, then mentally. Felicity dealt with mood swings before, but Oliver was taking it to whole new levels.

            What had happened to him? Felicity knew something had. She saw some of the scars and the tattoo that lay over his heart. There were more differences than what was physical though. Even if those physical changes were very evident by the muscle structure he had gained. There was an air about him that held more confidence, something he lacked in his younger years, despite the bravado. More than that, there was something in him that radiated the experiences that he lived through. Ones that would break a lesser man. It was like Oliver had finally become the man that she could see he could be if he just stopped and grew up.

            A knock on the door of her apartment made her jump. She had no idea she had sat there that long reminiscing over Oliver. It was not like she ever be able to get answers. No, Oliver was much more likely to hand her some bullshit story of the spilled latte variety.

            Grabbing her purse, Felicity went to pay for her dinner. She needed to dwell on the answers she could find out, what Moira planned for Tempest.

            Which was why Felicity stood there stunned with her door wide open and her wallet falling to the floor when instead of Chinese food she found Oliver Queen. A well-dressed Oliver Queen. If there was a magazine for suit porn, he’d be on the cover, every freaking month.

            “You’re not dressed,” he told her as he swept past her into her living room.

            “I’m not going,” Felicity told him as she picked up her wallet.

            Oliver turned around and smiled at her. “So, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

            “The fundraiser.” Felicity closed her front door and leaned back on it. “No. I’m not going. I called Tommy.”

            “Why not?” His brow creased as if he could not figure out why she would not be going.

            Felicity could not believe his audacity for even showing up. He had barely spoken to her outside of those few times that she done something for him and his party. And now here he was at her apartment. One she never told him she lived in. _What the hell?_ “Because I have things to do.”

            The doorbell rang and Felicity pulled herself off the panel to turn and answer it, but Oliver made his way there first. Felicity tried to wrestle the handle away from him but it only brought her body in contact with his. They both stilled. She felt his breath move the strands of her hair.

            “Felicity, let go. I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice came out rough, pleading.

            “That’s my dinner,” she complained.

            “Correction.” Oliver peeled her hand off the handle and set it by her side before opening the door. “It was your dinner.” Oliver reached inside his pocket and pulled a folded up fifty from his pocket and handed it to the guy. “Keep the change and leave the food there. Thanks.”

            Felicity was held back by Oliver’s body and could not do a thing when the guy left the food and Oliver closed the door. She glared up at him, her hands on her hips. “Thank you for paying, but can I please have my dinner?”

            “Sure.” He nodded down at her. “Get dressed.”

            “I don’t want to go. I honestly have things to do.”

            His eyes sparkled and for half a second Felicity was pretty sure there was a glimmer of lust as they lingered across her lips. His tongue came out and licked his lips making her own body react. Her nipples pebbled against her bra while her thighs clenched together.

            She saw him close his eyes in effort to compose himself. When they opened, the blue was almost gone. “Felicity, get dressed before I dress you myself.”

            “You wouldn’t dare.” Would he? What did she really know about him anymore? He seemed more than capable of doing it, but would he?

            Oliver advanced on her. Felicity refused to budge until he was almost on top of her. It was only then that she realized how large Oliver really was. He dwarfed her not only by his size but by bulk as well. Taking a step back, Felicity was about to run to her room when he grabbed her arm and yanked her against him. “Felicity.”

            His voice was breathy as he said her name, making her realize that there was a fine line for his patience. Well, too bad for him because she had no intention to go to the fundraiser tonight. “Fine, I’ll get dressed.”

           

            Oliver noticed she did not ask to be let go. It was just there underlining her words. She was anything but happy at that moment. But she seemed willing to comply with his request despite her reluctance. He released her because he had to or else he would have slammed her up against a wall and kissed her like he had longed to for too long. Like a man who wanted a woman.

            She made her way from him and Oliver glanced around her apartment. A poster featuring Robin Hood caught his eyes and a small smirk appeared at the corners of his mouth. If she only knew. Right below that was a pink starfish. Oliver stepped closer and admired the irony. His aim had definitely gotten better since he won her that silly toy. Her own winning was deep within the ocean as it had been sucked down with the Gambit. Sunshine. He had not thought of that dog in years.

            A knock sounded on the front door and Oliver went over to open it. An older lady with a cat in her arms stared up at him. She blinked a few times at him from beneath really thick glasses. “Hello.” She tried to peek past him inside Felicity’s apartment, but he blocked her inquiring eyes. “Is Felicity here? I wasn’t sure if she knew her food was outside.”

            “She’s getting dressed. Thanks.” Oliver picked up the bag of food. He graced her with his most charming smile and a wink. “I appreciate you letting us know.”

            “Who was that?” Felicity asked from her bedroom as he closed the door.

            “Someone, probably one of your neighbors, letting you know that you had food at your front door.” Oliver brought the food to her kitchen and unpacked it. Dumplings. Chicken Lo Main. Sweet and sour soup. He shoved all of it into her refrigerator and noticed that it barely had any food inside. Well, it was a good thing he was dragging her to the fundraiser. There would be plenty of food there and she’d have this for later. He was actually helping her out, Oliver assured himself.

            Hearing heels clacking on the floor, Oliver turned and made his way out of the kitchen. When he saw her, Oliver felt his mouth fall open. “What the hell are you wearing?”

            “My pajamas.” She glanced down at what she wore before her gaze returned to his. “You told me to get changed. You’re right I feel much more comfortable now.” She grimaced down at her feet. “Well, except for the shoes. What woman ever where’s heels inside their own place?”

            Oliver’s eyes climbed her body much as he wished she’d climb his. She looked so innocent standing there all in white. Pure.

He could not touch her, even if she gave him permission to do so. Oliver clenched his hands into fists. He would taint her. He was more monster than man and he could never show her that. Not now. Not ever. It would not be fair to either of them. For him to inject her with his darkness.

            And, yet, he was doing that anyway. Every time he saw her he showed her a little more of the inky swells that lingered around him. He needed to stay away and he couldn’t. He needed that purity, that light, to remind him that he could still function as Oliver Queen and not just the monster that had been created over the last half of a decade.

            That was why he needed to walk away, as tempted as he was to drag her out dressed as she was. Because he could never hurt her. He had done enough of that already.

            Oliver breathed heavily. He needed to ignore the fact that Felicity was one of the sexiest women he ever encountered. Especially dressed in the silken, white chemise she wore with straps thin enough that he could snap them between his fingers. She had no bra underneath and he saw her nipples puckering under his heavy gaze. The matching super short shorts left a ton of leg exposed. It made her look much taller than she actually was, especially paired with those bright red patent heels. On top of all of that, she tried to make it all a little less sexy with a short cotton robe that lay open and fell to her knees. Her blonde hair was clipped up leaving her neck exposed. Fuck, she was an angel sent to tempt him.

            Oliver tried to steady his nerves, but he was pretty sure they were already shot. “I said to change so you could go to the fundraiser.”

            “And I told you I had things to do.” Felicity walked over to him and tapped a light purple painted fingernail against his chest and then began to blush a light pink. “I mean I have things I need to accomplish. Which I can’t do if I go with you.”

            “And what exactly are you planning to do in that getup?” Oliver stepped forward leaving barely any space between them. Bending slightly he whispered in her ear. “Who’s coming over, Felicity?”

            “Why do you care?” Her eyes narrowed up at him. “Not that anyone is coming.” Her voice dipped down to an almost inaudible whisper, “Unfortunately.”

            A smile tilted at Oliver’s lips. “Then you’re not doing it right. Or he’s not.” Felicity groaned and covered her face with her hands. Oliver pried them away, holding them down at their sides. “I’m teasing. What’s so important? Do you need me to help?”

            Felicity shook her head, her cheeks still a pleasant pink. “Walter had me working on a project. It’s important that I finish it.”

            “Tommy is going to be upset that you are not going to be there.”

            “I know,” Felicity admitted, “but I just saw him at lunch. He should be fine.”

            “You did?” Oliver’s brow creased. “How long has that been…” Oliver shook his head. “Never mind. Look.” He reached out and tilted her chin up so that their eyes could meet. He tried to smile but emotion clogged his throat. “We were friends once. The three of us. I know things happened. A lot of things happened,” he said with a tilt of his lips. “But, I’d really like us to try to be friends again. I’m sure Tommy feels the same way.”

            Felicity briefly nodded. “I’ll think about it, but I can’t get out of this project. It’s important.”

            “Fine, but…” Oliver was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his coat. He reached inside and pulled it out. He held it out to her. “Tommy. He’s probably wondering what happened to me.”

            “Tell him, I’m sorry and that I’ll try to see him again soon.”  

            Oliver tucked his phone back in his pocket after sending off a quick text. When he opened his mouth, he could not quite believe what he heard. “What about me?”

            She smiled up at him. It was a small smile, but it still tugged at that part of him that he had almost forgotten existed. “It hasn’t stopped you thus far.”

            “Sure,” Oliver said completely unconvinced that she had an interest in seeing him again.

            But she shocked him when she rocked forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. It took a moment for him to react. And for a man whose very life required quick action that was saying a lot. Oliver reached out and cupped the back of her of her head and shifted their position slightly so that their lips touched. It was not meant to mean anything more than to actually kick up a memory of their previous shared kisses.

            Then her hands landed on his shoulders and she opened under his tongue that slid against her lips. Passion flared within both of them. Their bodies clenched together and Oliver wondered why it had taken this long for this moment to happen. He had to be dreaming, because never once had Felicity shown any indication that his feelings were returned in any way.

            Pulling back, Oliver stared down at her. Her eyes blinked open, but they were hazy. She was beautiful. More beautiful than he remembered. Oliver pushed himself away. He was poison to her. Things like hope and love had been cut away from his life as much as the skin on his body had been. He had nothing to offer her. He couldn’t even offer her Oliver Queen, because he was only a hollow shell that he hid inside. She deserved a full, complete person. Someone capable of having a relationship.

            Staying away from her was his best, if only, option. He had to still convince himself he could.

            “Are you leaving?” Felicity asked as she stared at him in confusion, her hand lingering over her lips.

            “Yes. I have a fundraiser to attend.” The pull to kiss her again was strong. If he didn’t retreat now, he was not sure that he ever would. Oliver shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out. He nodded and went to the door. She followed him and opened it, which was perfect because Oliver was not sure if he released his hands that he would not have already had her in them. “Goodnight, Felicity.”

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            “It’s okay, man. You tried to save him,” Diggle told Oliver while he slammed around the bunker after Derek Reston passed away at the bank.

            “Not hard enough. If I had, they never would have robbed the bank.” Oliver shook his head as he locked his trunk closed. “I should have made sure they were never there to begin with.”

            “Like hell. You heard him earlier,” Diggle told him as he joined him. “He made the choice to keep going. Pleasing his family was more important than anything you might have said or offered.”

            Oliver turned to his friend after pounding on the lid of the trunk. “I have to disagree.”

            “Let’s rationalize this,” Diggle told him. “In what universe do you think you can make a grown man back down when his mind is set? In his head, he was convinced his family needed that money. You would’ve done the same if you were in his position and Thea asked it of you.”

            Dragging in a deep breath, Oliver raised a hand to his brow. Digg had a point. Family had a way of making crazy decisions seem sane. Why else would he have agreed to spend time with Carter Bowen?

            Speaking of… Oliver really needed to get home. He had to try to apologize to his mother. She deserved more than all of these lies and deceptions after the welcome she had given him after all the time he had been gone. Maybe Thea was right. He needed to open up a little more. Oliver had already tried with Felicity and failed in spectacular fashion. He did not need to think about that kiss right now.

            “What are you thinking about?” Diggle stood there with his arms crossed over his broad chest as he studied him. It was like Digg expected him to do something stupid. Well, he was wrong, Oliver had already done that earlier.

            “That I need to head home and talk to my mother.”

            Diggle shrugged. “That’s better than blaming yourself for something that’s not your fault.” Digg reached out and picked up Oliver’s suit jacket and shoved it at him. “I’ll drive.”

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver sat there watching his mother enjoy her burger and glanced around. This Big Belly Burger held a lot of memories. Why had it taken him this long to come here again?

            His eyes shot off to one corner. That was where Digg had dropped his and Tommy’s asses after their brawl at Poison. Then they shifted over to a table. The same spot where Oliver had spotted Felicity with that creeper that she dated back in high school. Oliver had wanted to kill that kid. Now he knew he was more than capable of doing it. Shifting his eyes over to the hall where the bathrooms lay, he thought of the fight that he and Felicity had over the whole thing. Glancing over to the other side of the restaurant, Oliver remembered the night when he asked Laurel to go out with him the first time after they had all watched a movie together. For the life of him, Oliver could barely remember what it was they saw that night.

            But, when movement caught his eyes and they returned back toward that hallway, Oliver could remember _that_ conversation.

            _“What the hell do you think you are doing?”_ he had asked her.

            “ _Having fun with my_ friends.” Oliver remembered how much it hurt when she emphasized friends, indicating he wasn’t one.

            “ _Go home, Felicity. That guy, the one you call a friend, he’s not me. And he certainly doesn’t care how young you are. You think you’re safe because Sara is with you, but you’re not.”_ Oliver had been so pissed off that night. He had watched all night long while the guy kept putting the moves on her. But, it was jealousy that underscored each one of the harsh words he sent her way.

_“Then let me not be safe. My choice, not yours. My parent is fine with me being here. I don’t understand why you can’t be. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my friends are waiting.”_

            Oliver smiled thinking about how he had thought about Thea. How he had hoped that his sister would not be half as much trouble as Felicity had been at her age. Oliver really never had the chance to find out. Thea had grown up past those years by the time he had returned home. But, he knew her now. She was even more trouble than Felicity. If only he knew back then what he knew now.

            “What’s so funny?” his mom asked.

            “I was just remembering something that happened here. It made me think about Thea and how headstrong she is.”

            Moira nodded. “I don’t know what to do about her lately. She seems to be growing up so quickly and I’m sorry to say that I should have been paying more attention.”

            Oliver reached across the table and took his mom’s hand in his own, squeezing it. “You did the best you could under the circumstances.”

            She smiled over at him and pressed his hand back. “We both did.”

  


           

           

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of Chapter 5:
> 
> “I got it,” Oliver said waving the paper he received from Felicity in the air. “The address for the AK Desmond Group.”   
>  Diggle swung around from the computer and stared at him and the paper in his hands. “How did you get that? I’ve been doing research all damn day and I could not find a…” Diggle pushed himself up from the chair. “Tell me you didn’t, man.”  
>  “What?” Oliver shrugged at him and dropped the paper on the table by his trunk.   
>  “You went to see Felicity again.” Diggle picked up the paper and sighed. “Shit. I thought you were going to stay away from her.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AK Desmond Group, Helena and the notebook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't guarantee regular updates just yet. My beta has been feeling off and I am trying to get my kids back on a regular schedule for school after having off for winter break. However, I will try my best to let no more than two weeks go by without an update. Enjoy.

            After the kiss that she shared with Oliver, Felicity had a good feeling that she would not be seeing him again anytime soon. If she had bet on it, she would have lost. Her day had been hectic enough without Oliver. So, seeing him there in her office was really making her nerves raw.

             “I was wondering if you could help me,” Oliver said as he swept into her office.

             “I haven’t refused you this far,” Felicity mumbled to herself, wondering why she even bothered.

             “I want to send a singing telegram.”

             Felicity sat there tapping one of her ever present red pens against her desk. Was he serious? That was far from an IT problem. “A singing telegram. Okay.”

             “Um-hmm,” Oliver agreed. “My friend loves them and I thought that I’d surprise her.”

             He just kissed her a week ago. But then did she really expect that he changed? Felicity had to remember that she was supposed to be nothing more than a friend. That was what he had proposed and she decided to consider. The kiss was just something that happened. She raised the pen to her chin and smiled at him in a teasing manner. “Her?”

             “Just,” Oliver said showing a slight bit of embarrassment, which was new, “a friend.”

             “You never sent me a singing telegram.”

             Oliver leaned forward and crossed his arms. “You never told me you liked them.” He tapped on her desk. “Look, I don’t know where her office buildings are and I was hoping you could help.”

             “Oh.” Felicity shrugged slightly and went to pull up her browser. It wasn’t the first time she was his personal internet researcher. She really did need to put that on her business cards, and it would take someone a lot stronger than Oliver to yank that title off her resume.

             “She works at the AK Desmond Group.”

             “AK Desmond Group,” Felicity repeated as she typed the company into the browser. Her brow creased when she could not seem to get a result. She raised her head and pointed at her computer. “They’re not on the internet. Like at all. That’s really weird.”

             “Super weird,” Oliver confirmed.

             “All right.” Felicity smiled up at him. She wasn’t new to pulling things up when they did not want to show up. “Lucky for you, there’s the internet,” she told him indicating her one monitor. “And then there is the internet,” she told him in a more conspirator manner. “And these magic fingers,” she held up her fingers and wiggled them around, “can pull things out of it even Google can’t find.”

             Felicity began to turn back to her computer, but then blushed as she looked back up at Oliver. “Not that I believe in magic.” Felicity giggled in embarrassment. “Or that I have magic fingers.” She waved her fingers around nervously. “I’m just… I’m really good at… I’m good… I can… uh…”

             “Felicity,” Oliver said stopping her from tripping over her tongue. “Please.”

             “Right.” Felicity turned back to her computer and typed in a search into part of the internet that most people did not feel comfortable in. A darker part that had once been a part of her life. Her life before Cooper died. “I… uh…” Finally finding what she was looking for, Felicity reached for her pen and wrote down the address, as she said it out loud. “Um-hmm. 1852 West Maple. Thirtieth floor.”

             Felicity ripped the paper off the pad and her red pen went flying to land at Oliver’s feet. She literally wanted to melt into the floor. What if he thought she did that deliberately? Frack. “Oh… just…I…uh…meant to put it there. Just leave it there.” She continued to hold out the paper wishing he’d just take it and leave. Felicity had embarrassed herself enough already.

             Oliver had begun to pick it up, but when she continued to wave the paper at him, he straightened and accepted it. “Thank you.”

             She was sure that was the end of it, but Oliver bent down to pick up her pen as she sat there leaning against her desk, unsure of what to do. “You just…”

             “Mm-hmm.” Oliver holds the pen out to her as he stands there on one knee in front of her. “Felicity.”

             _Oh, no! No. Really. No._ Felicity begged him to get up in her head. Relief washed over her when he finally did.

             He placed the pen into her hand and he smiled at her. “I do believe in magic.”

             Felicity bit her lips. She really did not know what to do or say. It was bad enough that she had kissed him. In her apartment, in her most appealing pajamas, no less. Then this. Life was cruel and completely unfair. Just when she thought she grieved enough over him, Oliver decided to return. More than that he still set her heart beating way too fast with only a look in her direction. He wasn’t interested in her. Only in what she could do for him. She had to remember that. Her other half of her mind reminded her of the kiss that he was the one to initiate. Any other man that might have meant something, but this was Oliver Queen. He kissed women on a daily basis. To him it probably meant nothing. It did not matter that to her it meant everything.

             By the time that Felicity pulled herself out of her self-recriminations, she realized that Oliver had already left. To go send a singing telegram to some other female friend. One that probably knew the color of his bedroom. Which was cream by the way, in case they did not know. Or at least it had been.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

            “I got it,” Oliver said waving the paper he received from Felicity in the air. “The address for the AK Desmond Group.”

             Diggle swung around from the computer and stared at him and the paper in his hands. “How did you get that? I’ve been doing research all damn day and I could not find a…” Diggle pushed himself up from the chair. “Tell me you didn’t, man.”

             “What?” Oliver shrugged at him and dropped the paper on the table by his trunk.

             “You went to see Felicity again.” Diggle picked up the paper and sighed. “Shit. I thought you were going to stay away from her.”

             “I was, but we couldn’t find anything. She got us the address. That’s what matters,” Oliver told him as he grabbed his gear.

             “Haven’t you put her in enough danger with all your requests?”

             “No. Why would she be in trouble?” Oliver rounded on his friend and leaned back against the table.

             “Because either she is going to figure out there is something more going on and go to the police or the police are going to find out what you are doing and trace things back to her.”

             “She’s fine, Digg. You worry too much.” Oliver turned back around and grabbed the rest of his stuff. He needed to change. There was a criminal he needed to find before any more people died.

             “I don’t think you worry enough,” Digg’s voice followed him into the changing area.

             Oliver hated when Diggle said stuff like that. It caused him to think and reexamine his decisions. More than that, Oliver hated when Diggle might be right. Oliver knew seeing Felicity was wrong. It was much more dangerous than even Diggle anticipated, because Oliver was pretty sure that Diggle had no clue how much that Oliver wanted Felicity in his life. His entire life.

             Felicity made him dream of things that he could not have. A future. One that could be with her. Marriage. Kids. A real job that allowed him to come home at a regular hour to sweep her off her feet so he could carry her to bed where he’d remind her on a daily basis how in love with her he was.

             None of that was meant for him. It had been denied the second he and Sara stepped upon the Queen’s Gambit. Maybe even before that. Oliver had never made the right choices to get what he really wanted because he had been too locked into the pleasure of the moment.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

             Felicity was out of town for an IT conference when word reached her about Moira Queen being shot. For hours, Felicity sat there wondering if she should call Oliver to ask about his mother. Instead she settled on calling Tommy, who reassured her that Moira was fine. She only had a concussion and would be released the next day.

             It was a few days later when Felicity finally did call Oliver. She was rewarded by the smooth richness of his voice as he instructed her to leave a message.

             Just for the hell of it, Felicity searched for his GPS coordinates on her laptop. _Stalker much?_ She knew how that felt after her freshman year of college so she couldn’t believe that she was doing this. After a bit of hacking, she got the location and wished that she had just left it alone. The thought that Oliver was spending the night with beautiful Helena Bertinelli rankled.

             Berating herself, Felicity shoved away from the computer. It wasn’t any of her business who, or why, Oliver chose to spend time with. Despite the one-off time he showed up at her apartment, it seemed Oliver had only turned to her for something he needed since he returned home. And the other times, he tried to push her away, much as he had when they were younger. You would have thought she would have learned by now. Oliver was not interested in her.

             Felicity glanced over at the mirror that hung on the bathroom door of her hotel room. It was not like she was his type. She never had been. Far from it. And even now, with her geeky business look and glasses, Felicity was not the kind to attract his attention.

             Her current image was something she cultivated as sort of an armor. She needed it to get over the death of Cooper. The second man she loved who had died in less than two years. Was it any surprise that she needed to harden herself? But this look, was not one to draw the interest of a playboy billionaire. However, this was who she chose to be and she refused to change even to draw Oliver’s interest.

             A knock sounded on her door. For a moment her heart sped up. Which was silly. Oliver was currently wooing Helena. The last place he’d be was Ivy Town at her hotel. Peeking out the hole on her door, Felicity noticed one of the guys she met earlier at the seminar. He worked at Palmer Technologies if she remembered correctly. He had attached himself to her and one of her co-workers the entire day. It was beyond creepy.

             With a long drawn out sight, Felicity opened the door. “Hello, Chris.”

             He held up a bottle of cheap red wine and a couple of glasses. “I was hoping we could have a night cap before we head out in the morning.”

             “I’d love to,” Felicity told him with a painted on smile. “But I really don’t like to drink the night before I have to fly. It gets me woozy.” Felicity blushed. “Not that I drink a lot. It’s just I tend to feel ill. I hope you don’t mind.”

             “Next time,” he said with a shrug. “Do you know if Lucy Calhoun’s seeing anyone?”

             _Was this guy serious?_ She turned him down and already he was moving on with the next woman. Maybe it was her and not Oliver Queen who had the problem. Or every guy was pretty much an asshole. Making Oliver their poster child. “Why don’t you ask her?”

             With some satisfaction, Felicity slammed the door in his face and locked it every way possible. Leaning back, Felicity took a deep breath and slid down the hard surface. Yeah, if this was what guys were like she was never dating again.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

             Felicity half wanted to call off from work. Saying she was sick was not too far off from how she felt since her stomach still ached after she consumed that entire pint of mint chip last night. It was the only way she could make herself sleep. She stress ate and Felicity was definitely stressed.

             Her meeting the day before with Walter Steele had not gone well. He practically came out and said he’d fire her if she continued to look into Tempest.

             The fact that she did go in said more for her work ethic than it did for her nerves. If she could, Felicity planned to cower inside her office the entire day. Maybe if she kept quiet and kept her head low Walter would forget about her.

             Her plan apparently did not work. It wasn’t even lunch time when Walter summoned her back up to his office. With heavy feet, Felicity made her way over to the elevator bank.

             “Where are you going, Ms. Smoak?” her supervisor asked. He held out an arm so she could not reach the elevator button.

             Inwardly, Felicity took a breath. This guy could fire her just as easily as Walter. “Mr. Steele asked to see me.”

             “Again? Are you sure you’re not just taking extra breaks to get out of doing your job?” He crossed his arms and stared down at her in the menacing manner that the tended to use whenever someone did something he did not approve of.

             _You mean, your job_ , Felicity asked silently. “You’re more than welcome to call up to double check,” Felicity said softly. She waved him over to the closest cubicle. “If it’s a mistake, I’m more than willing to go work on the paperwork on my desk.”    

             He studied her for a moment and then reached out to press the elevator button. “I believe you, Ms. Smoak, but, please, don’t continue to make this a habit.”

             “I’ll be sure to let Mr. Steele know that you are not happy about the situation,” Felicity said with a small smile as the doors opened behind him.

             Her supervisor caught the doors and leveled his dark green gaze at her. “Don’t tell him that.”

             “Of course not,” she said sweetly, but rolled her eyes upwards when the doors closed. “Asshole.” Felicity covered her mouth. Wow. She was becoming bold now that she began to see Oliver again. More like the girl she used to be.

             But, as the doors of the elevator opened onto the executive floor, all her nerves returned. Her knees wobbled slightly as Walter’s executive assistant waved her toward the glass doors that would take her into Walter’s office.

             Taking the handle in hand, her other clenched around her badge. The one she might not possess for much longer since she had not listened to Walter’s instructions and still looked further into Tempest.

             “You wanted to see me, Mr. Steele,” Felicity said gaining his attention as she entered his domain. “Did I mention, it’s almost Christmas and many of the suicides this time of year are due to sudden and unexpected job losses?”

             Walter sat behind his desk and pushed a small brown notebook in her direction. Walter pointed at it. “I want you to find out all you can about that notebook.”

             Felicity stared at the book. It was like a resting viper. Would it leave her alone or hurt her? One minute Walter didn’t want her looking into anything and the next he was handing her this. He was almost as confusing as Oliver with the way things ran hot and cold between them.

             “Where it was made. How it was purchased,” Walter continued. “What it could mean.”

             Felicity reached out and picked up the notebook. “Yes, sir.”

             “Felicity,” her name on his lips stopped her because he usually only referred her to as Ms. Smoak. “I asked Josiah Hudson, our head of security, to look into this same subject matter. He died the next day.” Walter’s voice held a worry that Felicity could not even comprehend, but that did not mean she was any less scared. “Under questionable circumstances. What I may be asking of you… this mystery… Are you sure you want to do this?”

             Felicity swallowed hard but tried to remain brave. She did not want Walter to worry about her. He had enough on his plate. “I hate mysteries. They bug me.” Felicity tapped on the book. “They need to be solved.”

             With that she turned to go, tucking the book inside her hands so that no one would take note of the very important object she held. If Walter was worried something might happen to her because she possessed the book, then she had to make sure no one knew she had it in the first place.

             It took Felicity well into the night to figure out what could possibly be on the blank pages of the notebook. With the thing practically looking like it hadn’t even been opened, or used, it took her a while to puzzle out what was so important about it that it would lead to someone being killed.

             Luckily for her, she was a geek and had watched way too many thrillers and sci-fi movies in the last few years to counteract for her lack of a social life. There was a slight ridging to the pages that meant that someone had written something, but there was nothing there. It didn’t take her too long after that to think about the most recent spy movie she had been watching. Invisible ink. If there was such a thing, than it was possible that was exactly what was used here.

             That was how she found herself back in Walter’s office long after everyone else had gone home for the night. She walked into his office and turned off the lights. Walter looked up at her. “What are you doing?”

             “It’s gotta be dark in here if we are going to do this,” she told him as she approached. Inwardly, she groaned. Not again. There were times when she wanted to rip out her tongue. “If I had more time to think about that sentence it wouldn’t have sounded so dirty.” Felicity held the notebook out to him. “Look.”

             He glanced through the pages while Felicity readied the goggles. “I don’t see anything.”

             “I got these from Applied Sciences.” Felicity held them out to him. “They are able to pick up the sub visible variations of the UV spectrum.” Walter placed the goggles over his eyes with a questionable look in her direction. “Now, look at the book,” she told him indicating the pages.

             Walter did as she asked. She knew he’d see the names written there. The same ones that she discovered over an hour ago. So many names on each and every page. Felicity had yet to figure out what each person had to do with Tempest, but by the crestfallen look on Walter’s face, it could not be good.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

             Felicity did not know what was more frustrating, discovering who the people on the list were or having Walter question her each time she tried to get him to understand how the pieces, and players, came together. And, now that they knew some the people were tied into Queen Consolidated itself, it was becoming critical that they discovered what all the pieces created. The bigger picture was elusive. It evaded Felicity’s grasp and that disturbed her to no end.

             Each waking minute she had free she worked on trying to connect each and every one of the dots. But, so far, all she accomplished was finding more dots.

             Even Oliver visiting her in her office to ask about an arrow barely stopped her brain from processing the road ahead of her. Yes, an arrow. Felicity shook her head at the memory. His requests were almost beginning to border on the ridiculous.

             But thinking back to that, made Felicity spin around on her chair and gather her notes. Sagittarius. It was the name of the company the arrow tracked back to. She did not think of it at the time, but that name was familiar. Familiar as in it was in the list of names.

             Finding it again, Felicity spun around in her chair in celebration. Making a note of it and all the names that surrounded it, Felicity added it to her list of things to discuss with Walter the next time they talked. He was in a meeting for the rest of the day and then later he was supposed to leave to attend the Queen Christmas Party. The one that from rumors said it used to be held annually until Robert Queen passed away.

             Walter had extended an invite to the party to her, but she had declined. Too many names on the list had yet to be researched. And when majority of the staff was out of the office because of Christmas parties and the holidays, it made it the perfect opportunity for Felicity to work on the list without anyone discovering what she was doing. It was her way of staying safe. The less people who knew, the safer she was. Plus, there was two major deterrents to the Queen party. Moira Queen and Oliver. And Felicity and Oliver’s track record at the Queen mansion was not very good.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

             “Where’s Felicity?” Laurel asked Oliver after Tommy left to get them some drinks.

             “I don’t know.” Oliver raised his glass to his lips, but the liquor had a hard time going down. It was almost becoming a habit, Felicity avoiding him socially. She never protested once whenever he sought her out at the offices, though. Okay, so there were a few snide comments and sassy comebacks, but she never once threw him out or demanded that he stop coming. “I thought that she’d at least come to this.”

             “Sara told me once that Felicity never felt comfortable coming here. It made her nervous.”

             “Why?” Like he didn’t already know. Which incident should he start with?

             Laurel shrugged one shoulder. “She didn’t elaborate. I always thought it was because her mom’s income was far cry from all of this.”

             Oliver could see that, but the same could be applied to Sara and Laurel and never did it bother either of them. Oliver was pretty sure it was him. He had never inspired her trust in him. He had taken too much from her, hurt her too often. And that was just here. The list went on and on if he added in everywhere else.

             Felicity was the smartest person he knew. She was the only one who listened when he pushed her away. It was him who always sought her out. Sure it was for his nighttime work, but he also needed to see her. Yet, every other given time that she had an opportunity to be near him, she stayed away. And he needed her to. She could not be hurt at any cost, which Diggle reminded him constantly.

             Laurel’s picture that still remained in his wallet might have represented home. The life he could have had if only he wasn’t too scared, not just of commitment, but of life. But whenever he remembered Felicity… She was something that had always been the unattainable. A goal. A purpose. A dream.

             She might have been scared by the opulence of his life, but he had always been a little frightened of the simplicity of hers. He wanted that simplicity. Craved it. To know that he could go his own way without consequences. To be in love with whoever he wanted without fear that they could be hurt.

             If all of that had been an option, it would be Felicity by his side right now. His arm would be draped around her waist and he would not be letting go anytime soon.

             And now that he was home and it could all be possible, it was an impossibility. Oliver refused to bring her any further into his life. A dangerous life that could hurt her more than even he could. But, he wanted her there, by his side. That was the sickest part of all of this, because that need was what drove him to search her out.

             Every time he knew it was wrong. But like a drowning man, he pulled himself up only to go under again.

             Felicity was right not to come. Because one day soon, Oliver was afraid that he would not be able to let her go. To walk away and let her be with someone else. Each meeting it became that much harder. One day his strength was bound to wain and he’d find himself giving up everything to be with her. He could only hope that day was not anytime soon. For him and for his city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 Preview:
> 
> Felicity. Her name swept over him and his heart felt lighter. Rubbing the strands of hair of both women he loved more than anything, Oliver wished there was another by his side. Not that she would be. He had more of a tendency to make sure she was far away from him. But in his heart, she was never far away. Like now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has been injured by the Dark Archer and is trying to recover, while Felicity deals with the fallout of Walter's kidnapping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me. I will really try to keep updates regular, but I can't guarantee that they will. Enjoy.

**Chapter 26**

            Pain. That’s all Oliver could feel. It burned through his body as his beaten and bruised body fell through the window. The arrow that pierced his body wedged further inside and for a moment things went black. Oliver managed to pull his way through it, as he had on too many occasions over the past five plus years. If he wanted to survive, he needed to get as far away from the Dark Archer as possible. Then, and only then, could Oliver call for help. Digg was his only hope, but only if the Dark Archer was not aware that Oliver had someone as a partner.

            It took every effort he could muster to press the com button. “Digg. Help.”

            That was the last thing Oliver remembered. His world went black under the pain and dizziness. His body needed to recover and the only way to fight through it was to allow his body to rest.

            When Oliver awoke, he was inside a hospital room with Diggle hovering over him. Quickly, he filled Oliver in on his injuries, which were more extensive than even Oliver anticipated. Diggle gave him a run down on the story that he used as an excuse for his condition. Which ended just in time for Oliver’s family to arrive.

            A smile that was probably more of a grimace passed over his face. The family tried so hard to reunite with the Christmas party. It had not gone in their favor, but here, now, it seemed that everything that they had tried to accomplish had actually fallen into place. It took Oliver almost dying for it to happen. There was some irony in that.

            However, the moment felt complete. Almost. There was still something missing. There was a piece that Oliver could sense that was gone. He could not place his finger on it, but it bugged him.

            Moira bent down to hug him and her blonde hair tickled his nose. With a gentle hand he swept it back and a flash shot through Oliver’s mind. Especially, as Thea leaned in to hug him as well. The blonde and brunette hair blended together in front of his eyes as they kissed him. It was in that moment, Oliver knew exactly what was missing. Or who.

            Felicity. Her name swept over him and his heart felt lighter. Rubbing the strands of hair of both women he loved more than anything, Oliver wished there was another by his side. Not that she would be. He had more of a tendency to make sure she was far away from him. But in his heart, she was never far away. Like now.

            Before he left on the Gambit, Oliver had pushed Felicity so far away from him that it was amazing that even now she still spoke to him. And now… Now, he didn’t know where they stood. He trusted her. Turned to her without thought when he needed help and knew she’d give it without one second of hesitation. Their dynamic was still new despite everything that had happened in their past. Even with all they knew about each other. The fact that he once harbored such strong feelings for her only making things more complicated since she appeared back into his life. And now, at his lowest moment, Oliver craved for her to be there. To give him that bit of strength that seemed to radiate from her when he needed it the most.

            Felicity didn’t look at him and see the playboy. She never really had. Even when he had a ton of women in his life to distract him from the crazy crush he had on her. They had only ever been there to make her run far and fast. He never really wanted to be that guy. Oliver had wanted her. It had been a lost cause then and it seemed to be even more of one now.

            He had always cared about her. That was what drove him to protect her. Even from himself. Felicity was the one thing in his life that was too perfect to touch. And those moments when she looked at him because he had done something that impressed her, he felt like a hero. More so than he ever did when he wore his hood. But those times he pushed her away because he wanted to deny any feelings. In doing so, he hurt her. It was in those moments when the disappointment gleamed in her eyes, that he hurt more than he did when the Dark Archer shot him with his arrow that could have led to Oliver’s death had Diggle not arrived so promptly.

            When Oliver’s family left, Diggle approached him. He had been allowed to stay past visiting hours in the provision of protection. “You’ve been lost in thought all night.”

            Oliver struggled to sit up. When Diggle reached out to help, Oliver waved him away. “If the Dark Archer finds out Felicity helped me find him…”

            “I already have a detail on her.” Diggle nodded at him. “I figured you went to her the second I saw you pack up the arrow.”

            Oliver snorted and reached for a glass of water. “Thank you. Not just for Felicity, but for saving my life.”

            “Just doing my job,” Diggle said with a shrug of one shoulder.

            “We know you’ve been doing more than that.” Drinking from the glass, Oliver considered what to do next. The future seemed bleak if the Dark Archer beat him so easily. “I ruined the holidays for everyone.”

            “It’s okay, man.” Diggle laid a hand on Oliver’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “If it weren’t for you, there would be more people grieving than spending the holidays with their families.”

            A knock sounded on the door. Diggle shot Oliver a look before pushing his coat back to get access to his gun. He slowly made his way over to the door and opened it. Oliver wasn’t sure who would be on the other side, but the ones there surprised the hell out of him.

            “Hey, buddy.” Tommy smiled over at him. “Mind if we pop in?”

            Oliver nodded at his friend and Diggle covered his gun back up, waving them inside. Tommy, Laurel and Felicity made their way inside. Oliver’s eyes lingered over the latter. She seemed nervous. Her fingers were entwined in front of her and she kept twisting them together. Tommy and Laurel, on the other hand, smiled over at him.

            “What are you doing here?” Oliver asked them as he tried to push up only to grimace in pain. Diggle ran to his side and arranged him enough that he could somewhat sit up without being in so much agony from the broken ribs. “It’s past visiting hours.”

            Tommy grinned over at him. “Only for some people.”

            Oliver tried to laugh but it hurt. “Cute. Should I worry what else you paid for?”

            Tommy held up his hands. “You’re too injured for a stripper.”

            Oliver rolled his eyes. Only Tommy would bring that up. Things had not really changed so much in the time he was away. Especially as easy as it was to say things like that in front of the two women who were present. “Thanks for coming.”

            Laurel came over and sat down on the chair that was next to his bed. “We were worried about you. You just disappeared from the party and no one knew where you went until someone mentioned that you had been in an accident.”

            Oliver stared down at the hand that she entwined with his. He looked over at Tommy who didn’t seem to care that the woman he was dating acted so concerned and touchy. Oliver glanced over at Felicity. Her eyes could not quite meet his. But he did notice that she seemed to take in exactly how close Laurel was and that her hand was wrapped in his.

            “What the hell happened, man?” Tommy came over and laid a hand on Laurel’s shoulder. “One minute you were there and then I see you pop upstairs. Next thing I know, you’re here.”

            “Accident,” Diggle spoke up. “I should have kept a better eye on him.” Diggle shot him a warning look and a frown. It was for show, but Oliver also knew that Diggle meant that he’d be keeping more of a watch on him to ensure his safety.

            “Like, Digg said. It was an accident. I left angry because things weren’t going as planned and I wasn’t paying attention.”

            Laurel rose and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You need to stop running off half-cocked. One day, you’re not going to come back.”

            Oliver bit back his snort. If she only knew what he had gone through. A car accident was nothing compared to being shot repeatedly. Or tortured. Or burned. Or shot and beat to an inch of your life by some unknown enemy.

            “Hey.” Tommy drew Oliver’s attention up to him. “We have to get going. Laurel has a deposition in the morning before CNRI closes for the holidays.” Tommy reached out and clasped Oliver’s hand in his own. “Take care.”

            “Will do.” Oliver glanced over at Felicity. Was she leaving too? She had yet to say anything. Not that it mattered. Just her presence there made him feel a little better. It was all he wanted since he woke up even if he had not recognized that need right away.

            Tommy walked over to Felicity. “You okay? We can stay for a few more minutes if you need us to.”

            “I’ll be fine,” she said with a soft smile. “I’m only going to stay for a few minutes before heading home myself. You two go.”

            “Okay.” Tommy looked back over at Oliver and Diggle. “Have a good holiday. I’ll see you the second they let your ass out of here.”

            Oliver smiled at him. “You bet.”

            Tommy and Laurel took their leave. That left Felicity there alone with Diggle and Oliver. She smiled over at him. “Hi.”

            “Hi.” Oliver smiled at her happy that she stayed.

            “I’m only to going to stay for a couple minutes. You need rest to get better.”

            _I need you to get better_ , Oliver thought to himself, but refused to share. He shifted slightly. He noticed she took a few steps further into the room. She was now at the foot his bed and he wanted her closer but did not know how to ask her. Felicity studied him and Oliver saw the water that began to pool in her eyes. He wanted to jump out of bed and hug her close telling her things were going to be okay. That he was going to be okay.

            “Are you okay?” she asked him.

            “I’ve been better,” Oliver tried to joke, but the attempt fell short. The laugh he tried to force caused even more pain to shoot through him. “The motorcycle is totaled. Guess I need a new one. What do you think of red?”

            Her blue eyes turned sharp. The seemed to flagellate him where he lay. For a moment, Oliver thought she would turn and leave, but she did not budge. Not that he would in any way place something in the path of one of her hands for fear that she would throw it at his head. Oliver’s current injuries were enough.

            “Anyway...” She approached him and began to open the messenger bag that hung over her shoulder. “I wanted to bring you this.”

            Felicity pulled out a tablet. She held it out to him and Oliver wondered why she would bring him this. However, where she stood was still a little too far for him to reach at the moment. Oliver studied her. She was leaving the space between them for a reason. Felicity never did anything without thinking it through. This was no different.

            “I can’t reach.” Holding out his hand, Oliver encouraged her to take the steps that would allow him to do so. She complied but only with one faltering step. Oliver had to deal with the pain as he leaned forward. His hand encircled the edge of the tablet and he yanked on it _hard_.

            It had the desired effect, even if it was excruciating. Felicity lay draped across his chest, her face mere inches from his own. Fighting through the pain of his ribs, Oliver smiled at her. “Hi.”

            “H…hi,” she squeaked out. “I… uh…” Felicity began to let go of the tablet and right herself, but Oliver was not ready to let her go just yet. Reaching around with his other hand to hold her in place, Oliver grimaced and shifted. “I’m so sorry.”

            “It’s okay,” Oliver assured her. Shifting slightly more, Oliver pushed up. He could practically taste the mint she must have ate before she walked in. Without further thought, Oliver sealed his lips on hers. Her soft _oh_ , allowed him to deepen the kiss. It made him tense every muscle in his body, because this was neither the time nor the place to pull her on top of his lap and make love to her the way he had dreamed too often through the long years away.

            Kissing her felt amazing. Sure, he kissed her before at her apartment. But, after almost dying, this was different. Why had he denied himself the feel of her after all this time? Why did he push himself away? Oliver wrapped his hand around her face and moaned, more out of pain than desire, but he wanted more.

            Felicity pulled back out of his arms and away from his reach. Her eyes were wide and she pressed her fingers into her red lips. She appeared startled. Not that he blamed her. He had not really had any attention of kissing her tonight. Or any night. He had promised not to do that again after the last time he had done it. To himself, if not to her.

            “Felicity…” Oliver shifted to the side and reached out to her, but she shook her head and retreated even more. “I’m sorry. It must be the pain medication.”

            “Of course. Right.” That seemed to ease some of the panic from her face as she nodded at him. “I better go.”

            Without waiting for his answer, Felicity sprang out of the room. If Oliver was asleep, he still would have known the moment she left. It changed the whole atmosphere of the room. Leaving him empty.

            Diggle approached and Oliver suddenly remembered the man was still in the room. An amused smile raised his lips while condemnation graced his eyes. “You’re not on any pain medication.”

            “She doesn’t know that.”

            “I remember you telling me that the two of you were just friends,” Diggle said as he sunk into the chair that Laurel had once used.

            “We are,” Oliver told him. Damn, if he was going to admit to anything else. Diggle had already seen enough to know that he was lying more to himself than to anyone else.

            Diggle poured Oliver another glass of water and held it out to him with a full on grin. “Sure, man.”

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            She kissed him. She kissed Oliver Queen. _Again_. Felicity hung her head in front of her computer as she continued to torture herself with the accusation.

            An alarm dinged and Felicity noticed that she had a reminder to call Walter Steele. Shoring up her frayed nerves, Felicity picked up her office phone. She had retreated here because at least the office was one spot in which she had not kissed Oliver.

            Once Felicity got through to Walter, she felt bad that she had not tried to call him sooner. He was already on his way out of the office for the evening. He promised to call her back shortly seeing as how he was entering the elevator and their call may be dropped.

            Two hours later, Felicity was worried and frustrated. It was already past one am and she was still at work. Walter had promised to call her back and it did not seem that he was going to follow through on that tonight. Maybe it was for the best. They were both worried about Oliver, even if it was not quite in the same way. Getting up from her desk, Felicity had this sudden feeling of something being off. Fear crawled along her spine by the time she reached the elevator bank.

            Getting inside the elevator, Felicity clutched her bag tight to her chest. This elevator could be the last place that Walter was. Because Felicity was getting this really creepy feeling that something else besides worry made Walter not call her back. The only thing that kept Felicity from jumping out of her skin was the fact that there were cameras in the elevator that the security guards would be monitoring. By the time she reached the ground floor, Felicity was almost in full blown panic attack.

            “Miss Smoak?”

            Felicity jumped at the voice. When she turned she discovered that one of the security guards stood there staring at her in concern. “Oh. Hi, Stevie.”

            “Are you okay?” The older guy reached out toward her.

            Nodding, Felicity relaxed her grip on her bag and with trembling hands looped it around her shoulder. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

            “Do you want me to walk you to your car? It’s really late.” He nodded toward the other elevators that would lead to the parking garage.

            Felicity was about to say yes, when something dawned on her. “Actually, there is something you can do for me.”

            “Anything.” He nodded at her encouraging her to share. “After you helped me get back into the security system after locking myself out, I’ve been wanting to do something to thank you.”

            Felicity walked with him over to the main security desk where he normally sat most nights. “Did you happen to see Mr. Steele leave earlier?”

            Stevie nodded. “He was with one of the security detail.” He circled the desk and took his seat. He looked over at her. “One of Mr. Diggle’s guys, not one from here.”

            “Are you sure?” Felicity could not remember another time when Walter used Diggle’s security. Maybe it was a recent occurrence with the book being in play, but Felicity’s instincts screamed that it was not that at all.

            “Yeah.” Stevie waved down to the monitors in front of him. “I even have the security footage.” He typed in a few things and sent one of the videos into reverse. When Stevie found Walter he played the video for both of them to see. Both of their eyes grew large as they realized what had happened. “I need to call the police.”

            Felicity did not wait for Stevie to even finish picking up the phone. She ran. If they could take Walter who had more a social presence, then she could be next.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            The weeks after Walter’s disappearance were stressful in the Queen household. Oliver was slowly getting stronger after his injuries, but he wasn’t ready to hit the streets to search for Walter or to take on the people who filled his father’s notebook. But Walter did need to be found.

            Flipping idly through his father’s book, Oliver wondered if he would ever be ready again. The Dark Archer did more than injure him physically. He took that part of Oliver that could jump into danger without thought.

            His family had wormed their way back into his life. And he could not take the chance of losing them. Nor could he have them suffering the loss of losing him again as evidenced by Walter’s disappearance and Oliver’s own recent injuries.

            Oliver slammed the book shut. His father wanted him to clean up Starling City, to atone for his mistakes, and Oliver was no longer sure if he could. What was the point? What had he really accomplished? Who had he really helped?

            He was no hero. And he could not harness the monster any more than when he first arrived. So where did that leave him?

            Shoving back from the desk, Oliver rose and roamed around the bunker. Even training lacked appeal. Physically he was strong enough to resume his nightly activities. It was his heart that lacked the motivation.

            With on direction in mind, Oliver jumped on his Ducati and headed out. Maybe because he his thoughts centered on his family and Walter, Oliver found himself outside the Queen Consolidated offices. He turned into the parking garage. As expected, barely any cars were there. It was just past midnight.

            Yet, there was one car that caught his eye. A red Mini Cooper. A Mini Cooper with recognizable plates. A Mini Cooper that belonged to none other than Felicity Smoak.

            What was she doing here at this hour? The offices had closed down hours ago. There had to be a reasonable explanation. Maybe she caught a ride home with someone else.

            Oliver parked his bike next to her car. Taking off his helmet, Oliver eased off the bike. He looked inside just to be safe and was finally able to breathe regularly when he realized she was not inside hurt. He would just pop inside the offices to be safe. He had to make sure everything was okay.

            He felt his steps quickening the closer he came to the elevator that would lead upstairs. Right as he leaned forward to press the button, the doors dinged and began to open. Oliver expected it to be Felicity. Only instead of her he faced a man in a black suit. The man could have easily been one of Diggle’s guys, but he wasn’t. Oliver knew all of them and this guy was not one of them.

            Oliver glanced between the man who walked past him and the elevator. He was conflicted. The man could not be up to any good, but at the same time Felicity could be inside, hurt.

            Shoving his hand into the closing doors, Oliver jumped inside the elevator. Once he was on the main floor, Oliver’s eyes shot around. He ran past the security desk toward the other elevator bank and jammed his finger into the up button.

            “Mr. Queen?” an out of breath security guard ran up to him. “Is something wrong?”

            Without turning away from the elevator, Oliver asked him, “Is Felicity Smoak still here?”

            “As far as I know, Mr. Queen. She hasn’t checked out yet.”

            Oliver pressed the button again out of frustration. What the hell was taking the elevators so long? Turning to face the shorter, heavy set man, Oliver pulled out his card. He handed it to him. “Call me if she comes down before me. It’s important.”

            Without waiting for a word, Oliver took off toward the stairs. It was in the stairwell that he found her. She sat there clutching a bag, her purse next to her. “What happened?”

            Slowly she raised her face to his and he realized she had been crying. It tore at his heart. “Felicity?” He knelt on the stair in front of her and pulled her into his arms. “Are you okay?”

            She nodded against his neck and he let out the breathe he did not know he had been holding. Oliver pulled back slightly and swiped at the trail of tears that lined her face with his thumbs. “Talk to me.”

            “Someone was in my office.” Her voice was shaky, which did not surprise him considering how her body quivered against him. “I was packing up to leave and I realized I forgot to grab some reports from the printer.” She took a deep breath. It was even shakier than her words and all Oliver wanted to do was sit there and hold her, but he needed to know what was going on. “I no sooner placed them on my supervisor’s desk when I saw him exit the elevator. He went to my office and picked the lock.” She pulled off her glasses and swiped at her face. “I had locked it thinking I was leaving for the night. But, he went inside easily. I hid and watched him. He seemed to be searching for something. My whole office is a mess. When he left and entered the elevator, I ran here.”

            “What was he looking for?”

            “I don’t know.”

            Oliver sensed she was holding something back. This was Felicity, though. What could she be involved in that would have someone seeking her out? Unless it was about him. What kind of secrets could she possibly have? More likely it was someone trying to steal company secrets if they went to her office. “You’re okay.”

            He was pretty sure he told her that to reassure himself more than her. Staring at her, he realized he still had her head clenched between his hands. It would not take much effort to pull her toward him so he could kiss her. It would go a long way to helping him calm down, but now was not the time.

            Oliver let her go and rose. Anger swept over him at the fact that she could have been hurt. He had to close his eyes for a moment to suppress the rage that overcame him. Opening his eyes, Oliver stared down at her. He held out a hand to her. “C’mon. I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

            “Thank you.” Felicity grabbed her stuff before she accepted his help up. He kept his hand wrapped around hers the entire time they descended the stairs.

            He did not even let her get inside her car until he fully checked it over. Call him paranoid but there was something about the whole situation that had him scared. And even though he felt sure that this had more to do with him than her, he was not about to rest idly by without ensuring she was completely safe.

            Which is why he followed her the entire way home. When they got there, he asked her to remain outside while he searched her apartment. It was only then that he allowed her to come inside. Telling her it was all clear, he waited by the door to hand her back her keys.

            “I appreciate your help, but you didn’t have to follow me home,” Felicity said as she placed the keys on a side table near the door.

            He smiled down at her as she kicked off her shoes. “Thank you for letting me make sure you were safe.”

            Her eyes rose to meet his and her lips formed a straight line. “What are we doing?”

            “What are you talking about?” Oliver stood there right in her personal space, unable to allow her to be far away from him.

            “This.” She waved a finger between the two of them. “What is this? I mean years ago I swear you decided to take on the big brother mantle without being asked and then…” Her eyes closed and her brow creased. Her eyes opened but they were directed downwards. “Then, I don’t know what happened, but it seemed like you didn’t want anything to do with me. You either avoided me like the plague or tried to scare me off.” Her eyes rose and skewered his. “Now, you’re back and asking me to look into all this crazy stuff. And you’ve kissed me. _Repeatedly_. So, what is this? Now. Here.”

            “I don’t know,” he told her honestly.

            She nodded and leaned around him to take hold of the door. “Thank you for making sure I got home safe. I appreciate it, but it is time you left. Goodnight, Oliver.”

            He could do no more than nod and head out the door. Bringing Felicity anymore into his life was not an option he could choose. Especially now when he did not know for a certainty where he was heading. “Goodnight.”

            The door closed behind him and Oliver stood there unsure of his next move. Turning around, he was the curtains twitch as she pulled them tightly closed. Being left out of her life should be a norm for him now. Especially with all the time that he had been away. But, it felt wrong to be on the other side of that door.

            Hell, he could not even settle of which woman he should be with. Sure, Laurel was with Tommy now and they were happy, but there was something about making her his symbol of home that kept him attached. And then with Felicity… How could he expect anyone to let him in? He shut people out all the time, so why did it feel so different now? Not that Felicity did it on purpose. She straight out asked him what was happening between them. Maybe when he had an answer he could share it with her. He only hoped that she would still be around to be able to do so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview Chapter 7: 
> 
> It had taken Laurel’s request to search into the death of her friend’s brother to pull him out of his self-deprecation. He had mentally incapacitated himself enough after the Dark Archer attacked him. Even halfway through the case, Oliver had been ready to throw in the towel. But, with Diggle’s wise wisdom and Oliver’s perseverance, he was now ready to embrace who he was.  
>  Only one matter remained. Oliver had never asked Tommy if Felicity was going to come this time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is only just getting back into his vigilante mode after being hurt by the Dark Archer, while Felicity is just searching for some peace where no one is searching her out for information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will still be sporadic as I am still not quite caught up yet and things have yet to slow down my way.

 

            By the time the fundraiser at Verdant for the firefighters rolled around, Oliver had forgotten about his inner conflict. Or most of it. He had begun to get back into the groove of who he was, even if he was not quite to the point of not flinching. He was meant to be the vigilante. It was what he groomed himself to be. To be the man who he became through the hell he had lived through over the past five years since he stepped onto the Queens Gambit with his father and Sara. Oliver needed to save his city. His fears be damned.

            It had taken Laurel’s request to search into the death of her friend’s brother to pull him out of his self-deprecation. He had mentally incapacitated himself enough after the Dark Archer attacked him. Even halfway through the case, Oliver had been ready to throw in the towel. But, with Diggle’s wise wisdom and Oliver’s perseverance, he was now ready to embrace who he was.

            Only one matter remained. Oliver had never asked Tommy if Felicity was going to come this time.

            She still insisted on staying away from the people she had known as a teen and Oliver had yet to figure out why. Though there was one person she let in. Tommy. Oliver let out a snort sort of laugh as he fixed his tie. Even he was not on that short list. Sure, she saw him. He kind of gave her no choice most of the time. But, this was different. It was a social event. The same kind of event that she somehow managed to avoid each and every time one came up.

            Yet, the woman managed to have multiple lunches with Tommy over the past several months. She had gone with Tommy off on some trip over the weekend shortly after his injury. Oliver liked to think that he was not jealous of his best friend, but it was becoming harder and harder to deny the fact that it was now Tommy who dominated Laurel and Felicity’s lives, like Oliver had once done when they were younger.

            Oliver wanted to see her. Not just spy in on her through her living room window. Though, in his defence, Oliver had needed to make sure she was safe after that incident at the offices. It would have been simpler if she just talked to him. So, he had kept watch for the next week to assure himself that she had gotten home without incident. His vigilante skills had to be good for something, even if, at the time, he had been determined to not use them again.

            Adjusting his jacket in front of the mirror, Oliver wondered if he should leave her another voicemail. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and fiddled with it. Diggle chose that moment to pop down to the bunker from checking the floor upstairs.

            He came over to stand by Oliver and crossed his arms. “Why aren’t you at the party yet?”

            “I was about to head up.”

            Diggle nodded but did not look convinced. It did not matter anyway, Oliver needed this party. He already had his suspicions about the guy setting the fires and now Oliver wanted to see how the fire captain would react to Oliver’s statement in regard to the man involved. Which meant that thoughts of Felicity had to be put on hold.

            “So, who has you tied up in knots tonight?” Diggle finally asked. “The brunette or the blonde?” He paused and cocked his head. “Or the other brunette?”

            “Helena’s gone, Digg. And there was never anything between us other than a small understanding about the pain we are both going through.”

            “Okay.” Diggle gave a small nod. “One down. Two to go,” Diggle said with the least convincing laugh ever.

            Oliver ignored him and headed for the stairs. Diggle followed close behind. They both knew tonight was important and they had taken measures. Oliver cleared his throat and was about to reach for the door when he asked his friend, “And you’re money’s on?”

            “My money is on Laurel, but I could be wrong.”

            Digg was wrong. Not that Oliver had any intention of telling him that. “Laurel. Um-hmm.”

            The taller man let out a snort of laughter. It had Oliver closing the door that lay in his hand before he fully opened it. “What?”

            “I never pictured Felicity to be the one to have you so tied up in knots, man. Good for her.”

            Glaring at his friend, Oliver rolled his shoulders to allow the statement to wash over him. He reached out and opened the door so that they could leave. They had a party to deal with and an argument right now would not be in anyone’s best interest. Plus, the last thing Oliver needed was dating advice from Diggle.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Felicity had run late to get to the fundraiser. She had promised Tommy that she would go, however, something legitimately came up at work. By the time she fought traffic and gotten home, she had to scarf down her dinner and prepare to go.

            Only as she was about to head out, she felt the need to turn on the television. There was breaking news and Felicity stopped to watch in shock.

            What the hell was wrong with Oliver? Could he not be somewhere and something not happen? Was that really so hard?

            Felicity chucked her keys at the television. It was frustrating to see the man who was slowly slipping back into her life, constantly on the other end of something that might one day fully take him away from her again. And a burning building was definitely on a list of things that could do that. Especially when that burning building happened to be the club that he was trying to renovate. The one she was supposed to have been at over an hour ago.

            Flicking off the news coverage of the fire, Felicity collapsed on her couch and tugged her tablet onto her lap. Somehow she had managed to keep her head down since the strange guy had searched her office. Felicity was pretty sure that he, or someone who worked with him, managed to search her apartment as well. She had thought to call Oliver after she had come home to find several of the things in her apartment askew, but instead she placed a call to the police. They had assured her that they did not think anyone would be returning because nothing was taken. It did not matter, to this day, Felicity was paranoid.

            Luckily, Felicity had her tablet on her at all times and she had hidden the notebook Walter had given her in a safe place that was neither in her apartment or her office. Felicity was sure that it was only because of the precautions she had taken that she was still here and alive.

            No. She could not think like that. Walter was alive. He had to be.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Diggle came into the bunker finding Oliver sitting there upside down on the bar where he worked out. “Good thing the fire did not spread to down here.”

            Oliver let himself slowly down from the bar. He seemed worried over something. “That’s one of the benefits of concrete and steel construction.” Oliver heaved a heavy breath. “Thank you.”

            “What for?” Diggle asked him.

            “You know what for.” Oliver approached him with a small smile to his face. One that Diggle did not feel.

            “So, what’s next? More training?”

            “No.” This time Oliver was really grinning. Maybe things really had finally changed with him. It gave Diggle some hope that they might actually be moving forward. Oliver held up his father’s notebook to show it to him. “We go hunting.”

            This time Diggle did smile. Oliver was back. The Dark Archer’s hold was finally gone. “What about those people that you worried about losing? The ones that you didn’t want to lose you?”

            Oliver went over to his trunk and pulled out his hood. “I don’t think I’ll ever not be worried about them, Digg. But they are part of what brought me back here.” Oliver shook his head and turned back to him. “I have to live with that fact.”

            “Yes, you do.”

            Oliver nodded. It was an improvement on the Oliver that lurked around the bunker for weeks now. “I have a lot to lose. But that can’t stop me from moving forward.”

            This time it was Diggle who nodded. “And Laurel?”

            Oliver shrugged into his jacket. “She’ll be a part of my life. She always has been. It’s no different now, but she’s with Tommy.” Oliver shrugged. “They both seem happy and I’m happy for them.”

            “But?”

            Oliver turned so that he faced away from Diggle. He fiddled with an arrowhead that lay close by. “I…”

            “It’s okay to say that you want something like that too. That you’re lonely.” Diggle knew loneliness. He had felt that too many times. When his marriage fizzled and even more when he lost his brother.

            “I’m not lonely.”

            Diggle let out a snort and crossed his arms. “Sure, man.” He reached out and cupped Oliver’s shoulder. “One day, when you’re out there on a mission, bleeding out, you remind yourself about why you’re fine not having someone to call to say goodbye.”

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Life was becoming normal. Static. Just the way that Felicity liked it and she was finally allowing herself the luxury of believing she was safe. Whoever had Walter and searched her apartment and office must have decided she was not a threat.

            That was why she actually decided to order Chinese for lunch. The last several weeks, Felicity did not dare order out with the fear that someone might poison her. She was well aware that the spy movies she had been watching of late had only fueled her paranoia.

            Of course it was Oliver who decided to ruin the peaceful bubble she was trying to exist in. The man was trouble with a capital T. She’d like to say it was a recent event, one spurred on by his time away, but she would only be lying to herself. And the trouble he seemed to be drawn to now was a lot more dangerous than the stuff he perpetrated as a teen. Felicity did not want danger in her life. She wanted calm and peace. Felicity resolved that to somewhat achieve that she would have to start locking her office door. Maybe that would let Oliver know that she was not interested without her actually having to say it.

            Setting her food container to the side, Felicity grumbled at him. “And here I was beginning to think my days as Oliver Queen’s personal computer geek were coming to an end.”

            He grinned down at her and she tried really hard not to be charmed by it. “Is that your way of saying that you missed me?”

            “No.” _Yes_. Felicity shook her head and tried to straighten her desk but then realized she was giving herself away by her nervousness and stopped. “But if it works for you, go with it.”

            He laughed at her and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from following suit. Oliver turned slightly and closed the door behind him, giving them privacy from prying eyes and ears. “So, a friend of mine is running a scavenger hunt…”

            Felicity stared at him confused. “Tommy didn’t mention anything about that when I talked to him last night.”

            Oliver’s lips thinned slightly as if something she said upset him, but his expression quickly changed back to somewhat charming letting her know that he was after something. It was a tell that he always had. If he fought through whatever he felt to keep his charming side out, there was definitely something bothering him. “It’s a college friend I reconnected with. Tommy doesn’t really know him. Anyway, there’s a case of Lafitte Rothschild 1982 waiting on the other end.”

            “Oh,” Felicity sighed. “I love red wine.”

            A genuine grin cocked Oliver’s lips up. “Tommy told me. But…”

            “Which one?”

            The smile faded from Oliver’s face as he stared at her confused. “One what?”

            “Which college?” she asked.

            “Does it matter?”

            “No, not really.” Felicity waved at him. “Continue.”

            His eyes narrowed momentarily before he shook his head. “Right. In order to find the wine, I need to get through this.” Oliver handed her a fob.

            Felicity looked it over once she accepted it. “Hmm. Security fob.” She took off the cap and plugged it into her computer. “It’s pin protected.” Felicity typed in a couple of things to pull up the coding. “The challenge response goes back to a company called Blackhawk Squad Protection Group.”

            “Yeah. My friend had his bodyguard set it up for him.” Oliver shrugged and moved around her desk so he was behind her. “Personally, I think it’s cheating, but whatever.”

            Glancing over her shoulder at him, she realized he was still trying to be cute. Well, it was not working. She was on to him. Something was definitely up. “This is military grade cryptographic security protocol. Your _friend_ really went to all this trouble?”

            Oliver straightened so he was not leaning over her quite as much as before, but his cologne was still there lingering over her nose. He grinned down at her and she did her best to hold onto her resolve to be immune. “He must have heard I was friends with a tech genius.”

            Swinging her chair around so that she faced him straight on, Felicity crossed her arms. “I doubt that came up.”

            “Please,” he beseeched.

            “Hmm.” Felicity studied him. He held up his hands in a pleading gesture.

            “Listen. You get through it and one of those bottles of wine is yours.”

            “Two.”

            “What?” He looked confused again. It was actually kind of cute, not that she’d ever tell him that.

            “Two bottles.” Oliver hesitated at her request and Felicity turned and began to remove the fob from her computer.

            “Wait,” he said holding out a hand to stop her. “Fine. Two bottles.”

            Felicity glanced up and him and gave a slight nod before plugging it back in. “Thank you. Now, I have work to do.”

            Oliver reached down and kissed the top of her head. They both froze. “I…I’m… I don’t know why I just did that.”

            Unclenching her stiff hands from around her chair, Felicity nodded. “It’s fine.” She waved it away as if it was nothing. Felicity did not want him to know exactly how badly that it affected her. “Just go.”

            “Right.” He took off for the door and Felicity slumped in her chair.

            _Frack! What the hell was wrong with her?_ She could not believe that she let Oliver talk her into something again. She was trying to be normal. For a woman who tried so hard to avoid any hang-ups with the law after Cooper’s arrest and subsequent suicide, Felicity seemed to keep finding herself in the worst of situations.

            Of course, she never expected that it could only get worse. How had she not known that it wouldn’t? _Trouble with a capital T, remember?_

            Deciding to put it all out of her mind, Felicity set to work on the encryption code. It would have to do to distract her from all of the other chaos that Oliver just brought back into her life.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            Oliver was jogging down the stairs of Verdant after meeting with Tommy at the club when his phone rang. _Felicity_. Did she open the fob? He’d never know if he didn’t answer. “What did you find?”

            “I think your _friend’s_ bodyguard gave him the wrong security fob,” Felicity told him with some underlining anger.

            “Why’s that?” _Keep it casual, Queen_ , he reprimanded himself, despite his worry. He needed to keep a hold of his charming side. Closing his eyes, Oliver made his way down the rest of the stairs to his bunker.

            “Well, once I got past Blackhawk’s authentication system, there wasn’t _anything_ about a scavenger hunt.” He heard her take a deep breath. Probably a calming one seeing as she was almost yelling at him. “There’s only a directory. Well, I think you stumbled onto, or got me to stumble onto, something pretty illegal.”

            _Shit_! “Define illegal.”

            “Oh, you know, robbing an armored truck with grenade launchers and tear gas.”

            “Wha…” Her sarcasm was lost on him as he grimaced. The one time he wanted to be wrong. “What?”

            “Someone at Blackhawk was using the system to store detailed routes and schedules for each of the city’s seven major armored car carriers. Including the three that have already been hit.”

 

            Felicity turned away from her computer and rubbed her forehead. Why was she always brought into these things? Did she have a sign? “Look, Oliver. I think we should provide this information to the police. With it they should be able to predict the next heist.”

            “Hold on, Felicity. I don’t want you to get in trouble with my friend.”

            Honestly? Felicity was much more worried about being in trouble with the law. Or even being sought out by the people who were perpetrating the crimes.

            “So, do me a favor, and forward that directory onto me and I’ll get it to the police personally. Thank you.”

            _Oh_! He was serious. Felicity stared down at the phone that had gone silent after he hung up on her. She gripped it tight almost wishing it was Oliver’s neck. If she did not joke about this she would go insane. “So, no wine then.”

            Slamming the receiver down, Felicity stared at the information on her screen. “Please get to the actual cops.”

            With that she placed all the information in a file and forwarded it over to Oliver. She could only hope that somehow she would not find herself under even more surveillance when her life was beginning to find an even keel.

           

 

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, no preview for the next chapter as it is on a whole separate system.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver needs to take Blackhawk down, but at the same time, he needs to be as far away from Felicity as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a while. I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I will try my best to make it a lot shorter wait than this one was. The next chapter is about Oliver's search for Count Vertigo, but I don't have a preview for you as it is not typed up yet. This chapter is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own. Enjoy.

**Chapter 8**

****

          Oliver’s phone ran early the next morning. _Tommy._ “Hey, buddy.”

            “Hey.” There was a slight pause. “You sound tired. Did you get some action last night? Should I call back?”

            Swiping a hand across his face, Oliver tried harder to wake up. He still had not managed to get used to sleeping regularly, even after all this time he had been home. Not that it mattered much with his nighttime routine. And not the one that Tommy was insinuating. “No. I just woke up. I went out to check up on the club last night since I couldn’t sleep.”

            “Everything okay?” Tommy’s voice was laced with quite of bit of concern.

            “No, everything’s fine. I would have called you if something was wrong.” Damn it. He still hated lying to his best friend. “So, what’s up?”

            “Right.” There was another pregnant pause as it seemed Tommy contemplated telling Oliver his news. “So, I spoke to Felicity a few minutes ago and when I asked her if she was coming to Thea’s party tonight she said she didn’t know a thing about it.”

            Hanging his head, Oliver wished he could punch his fist into the wall, but it was too far from where he sat on the edge of his bed as continued to talk to Tommy. “I forgot to mention it. With everything going on, it slipped my mind.”

            Oliver was not going to mention that he was much more worried about Blackhawk and their robbing spree that Felicity stumbled upon in her research for him. He really had not wanted her to get that far involved. Plus, there was still the matter of broaching the subject to John, who would not like the news one bit. Especially, as his ex-CO was the leader of the group.

            Tommy let out a small chuckle. “Hey, it’s okay there, man. I told her about it and it’s all good. And you don’t have to worry so much about the club either. I’m handling it. But, there’s something else that has you all tied up in knots. You want to talk about it?”

            “No. It’s no big deal. Just some family stuff.”

            “You sure?” Tommy didn’t sound convinced. “Because, seriously, I’ll help out any way I can.”

            Oliver did not know where to begin, even if he did want to tell the guy who had practically been his brother growing up. Instead he went with, “So, Felicity knows? Did she sound like she might come? Thea hasn’t seen her in years.”

            “Probably not since your…” Tommy let the sentence run off. The silence between them slightly uncomfortable, not for the first time. “Yeah, it’s been years.”

            Oliver forced a laugh out to bring back some sort of lightness between them. A lightness he no longer had the opportunity to feel with anyone anymore. Secrets and responsibility hung heavy on his shoulders. “So, I’m guessing that Felicity was not one of those fish in the barrel you mentioned when I got back home.”

            The snort that Tommy let out sounded affronted. “Hell, no. I would’ve run off any guy who thought that way. Not that I had to worry about that too much since she didn’t stick around long.” There were voices from behind Tommy and Oliver could tell Tommy put the phone on mute for a moment. “Look, I gotta run. Just wanted to update you on the invite.”

            “Sure. Thanks.” Oliver hung up and threw the phone on his bed without care of how it landed. He pushed himself completely out of the sheets that still lingered over his lap and rose. Stretching his muscles, Oliver glanced over his shoulder at his clock. That’s when he realized with shock that he had actually slept a full four and a half hours straight. There were no nightmares that he could remember. That was the longest stretch he had been asleep in a very long time. He was exhausted, so it shouldn’t be much of a surprise.

            Stress must have pushed him down into a dreamless sleep. His war with Diggle over the fact that Gainer might be involved in the Blackhawk thefts was not an easy one. Because Oliver counted on Diggle being on his side in his day to day life. Or maybe his night life would be a better description. But the two of them had barely spoken since Oliver broken into Gainer’s office a few days ago and stolen the drive. And, now, Oliver also had to deal with making a public appearance for his sister’s very large birthday party.

            _Shit!_ It just hit Oliver that the last time he had been at one of Thea’s parties with Felicity had been that dreadful night where he had practically attacked her in a drunken state. Not exactly the best of memories for either of them. He’d be surprised if Felicity could actually push past it and attend tonight’s soiree. It was because of that party, five years earlier, Oliver had made the decision to even get on the Queen’s Gambit in the first place.

            If there were any graves and coffins involved after that, they should metaphorically be used on his relationship with Felicity. Oliver had nailed that damn thing shut five years previously with his atrocious behavior. It was actually amazing that Felicity even spoke to him at all.

            Cringing, Oliver went to go stand in front of his full-length mirror. He stared at the wreckage of those years that lay across his body. They were nothing compared to what happened to his heart and soul. He had become a creature of the night, whose shadows lengthened the darkness within him. Oliver was a tainted soul that should never infringe on the purity of others.

            And Felicity? She would run from him if he ever, even for one second, exposed any part of that to her. Not that he would do that. He wanted her far from him. Yet, there was some inexplicable bond that made him keep turning back to her. Oliver had no idea why he could not just leave her in peace. Push her behind him, like he had with many of his past mistakes.

            With the resolve in mind that he needed to stay as far away from Felicity at Thea’s party, Oliver turned his back on his reflection. He had enough to do that night with keeping drugs as far away from Thea’s party as possible. Not, even taking into account that something needed to be done with Blackhawk and his eventual talk with Diggle regarding that matter.

            Oliver had no idea that his best laid plans were certain to fall to pieces, almost all at once. Roaming the room, Oliver did his best to confiscate the drugs he did happen to see passed around. But that also meant that they were here and that he might not have enough vigilance to catch all of them without help, something he was lacking at the moment.

            Swiveling his head back and forth, Oliver tried to spot his sister. Once he located her, he tried to inch his way through the crowd to get to her, only to end up bumping into someone in the process. A blonde someone. Her hair color still threw him sometimes, but he had to admit he liked it. “Felicity.”

            “Hi.” She turned from where she stood holding a drink. Her blue eyes rose up to meet his, as she tilted her chin up. He hated that he noticed how much they sparkled in the low lighting of the room.

            “Hi.”

            They stood there with their eyes locked together in some sort of silent battle. The only reason that Oliver gave her the win, was because he noticed that she began to bite her bottom lip, drawing his attention downwards. Her lips did always have that effect on him. Though mostly, words were usually pouring out of them.

            Her own eyes drifted down and she raised the straw of her drink to her lips and took a small sip. “Did you forward the directory?”

            Oliver had to strain to hear her lowered words, especially with the loud, throbbing music that shook through the crowd. “Huh?” He seriously tried to remember what she was talking about, but his mind was too consumed on wishing it was that straw that brushed over her red lips. But, finally, it hit him. She was talking about the security fob. The reason he had to still talk to Diggle tonight. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

            “Okay.” She let out a deep breath and her features cleared, making him realize just how tense she had been before that moment. Her shoulders slumped slightly as if a large weight was taken off them. Shoulders that were encased in a black velveteen crop jacket over a simple cut midnight blue shift dress that did nothing for the figure that Oliver knew she had to have under her shapeless clothing. Not that it mattered. Felicity could walk through the room in a potato sack and Oliver would still think she was one of the most beautiful women there. It had more to do with her than her looks, not that she wasn’t gorgeous in her own nerdy fashion.

            Dragging his eyes from her, Oliver spotted Diggle across the room. He really did need to talk to his bodyguard. Which meant that Oliver could not be here talking to Felicity. A good thing for all involved, since Oliver had already resolved to stay away from her tonight. “I… uh… I need to go. Something came up at the club. I’m sorry.”

            He really was. She would never know exactly how sorry he was, for so many things.

            “Right. Of course.” This time she did look at him again. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

            Oliver began to walk around her before he stopped and turned back. “Felicity.”

            She shifted so that she could face him, questions in her eyes. Ones that he would never be able to answer. Oliver girded himself to be strong and not do something stupid like walk back over to her. It was becoming a habit. One that he had to keep, holding himself back from her. “I appreciated your help. And I’m sorry I got you involved.”

            “Thank you, Oliver.” She nodded at him and that felt like the most forgiving action he ever received.

            Jerking his thumb over his shoulder, Oliver tried for a charming grin and told her, “Gotta go.”

            She waved at him and he walked backwards for a few steps so as to keep watching her for as long as he could. It was the only thing he could do, since he needed to stay as far away from her as possible. He didn’t need her to think that anytime that she walked into his space that she would be attacked or made uncomfortable. Swiveling around, Oliver stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed over to where Diggle stood.

            “What’s up?” Oliver asked Diggle once they were side by side.

            “I got your note about Blackhawk and saw the fob. I’m heading over to Blackhawk. I’m going to check to see if there’s blood.”

            Oliver not so subtly reached out and placed a bug inside Diggle’s lapel as he pretended to fix the man’s suit. Giving him a nod, Oliver told him, “Keep your head on a swivel then.”

            Diggle gave his own nod and headed out. Oliver’s eyes swept over the room and noticed Felicity on the dance floor. She was dancing with one of Thea’s friends a bit uncomfortably. Oliver’s hand clenched at his side but he didn’t move. The guy did not know how lucky he was that Oliver was trying to turn over a new leaf where Felicity was concerned.

 

OQFSOQFSOQFS

 

            The first thing that Felicity heard when she turned her car to head home from Thea’s party and the Queen mansion was that Thea was in a horrible car accident and on her way to the hospital. No wonder Felicity had not been able to find her on the way out, Thea had already left. She had to be on her way to Starling General, as that was where the Queens usually went whenever Oliver had managed to get hurt.

            Frustrated, Felicity jammed a hand into her car steering wheel as she approached a red light. Why couldn’t the Queens refrain from making the news for just one day? Was it really that hard? People everywhere seemed to be able to do it. Sure the Queens were one of the most influential families in Starling City, but this was becoming ridiculous.

            With a sigh, Felicity continued to listen to the reporter and pressed the gas pedal when the light turned green. No sooner was Thea’s story over, than the news report turned to the armored car thefts. With that her ears perked up even more, Felicity listened as the reporter commented that the cops had managed to take down the criminals that evening. Uncorroborated reports claimed that there were ties to the Blackhawk Protection Group.

            “Duh,” Felicity mumbled to the radio. “You’re welcome.”

            “Reports also claim,” the radio news reporter continued, “that the Starling City Vigilante was also involved in the acquisition of the suspects according to a couple of witnesses.”

            Felicity slammed her brakes, thankful that no one happened to be behind her, causing an accident of her own. A car came up behind her and honked before passing around her. She waved to them in way of an apology and eased her car off to the side of the road. The vigilante was involved. Again.

            That made twice that she worked on something for Oliver that ended up having the vigilante involved. It could all be a weird coincidence. _Right?_ The police were also both involved in the situations. The vigilante could have a leak in the police department. It didn’t necessarily mean Oliver was involved. In fact, he had already been cleared of that allegation. But, Felicity had no choice but to wonder. How could she not?

            Picking up her phone from inside her purse, Felicity called Oliver’s number. It went straight to his voicemail. No real surprise there. Knowing that Thea was hurt, Felicity had to think that he had already been informed before the radio station and on his way there, if not already at the hospital. It made sense that he would have it turned off if that were the case.

            Hanging up instead of leaving a message, Felicity tucked her phone back by her purse. She eased back onto the road. What she needed to do was head home and think.

            The radio announcer said they had an update on the Thea Queen accident. That it was reported that she was fine and her family were with her at the hospital.

            _See. Oliver was there._ Meaning he was not the vigilante. That was such a stupid thought anyway, even if the vigilante had not managed to make his presence known until Oliver and Tommy were kidnapped. But, if Oliver was one of the one’s kidnapped, and subsequently rescued, that definitely had to mean that he could not be the man under the hood. _Right? Right._

            Felicity made her way home. She was exhausted. Not just from the party but from all the emotions that had poured over her on the way home. Thoughts of Oliver were draining.

            She heard the beep of her voicemail as she entered her door. Approaching her machine, she turned on the lone message.

            _Hey, Felicity, it’s Tommy. Thanks for coming tonight. I’m sure Thea really appreciated it. I can’t hang on, but I wanted to let you know that we are all at the hospital._ There was a brief pause. _Oh, hey, man. You look like shit. Your sister’s in the room. Hey. Sorry, Felicity. Oliver just got here. I gotta go, but I wanted to let you know that Thea is fine. Her new car is totaled, but she only has a few cuts and bruises. No one else was hurt. I thought I’d call to tell you myself before you heard it anywhere else._

            _Too late, Tommy_ , Felicity thought to herself. The message stopped. But then it dawned on her that Oliver had only just arrived when Tommy was talking to her. What time was that again?

            Playing the message back, Felicity discovered it was only few minutes before she called Oliver. Where had he been up until that point? He wasn’t at the party. She had looked for him as well as Thea when she had left. In fact, none of the Queen family had been there at all when she headed out. That had to mean that they had gotten the call about Thea before the party completely broke up. But, where had Oliver been? According to the staff, he left shortly after Diggle. No real surprise there, seeing as Diggle was Oliver’s bodyguard, but why would Oliver follow him instead of the other way around?

            _Gah!_ Her head hurt with all the thoughts that were running through it. Tossing her purse, keys and phone down on the table next to her apartment’s phone, Felicity kicked off her shoes and headed for the bathroom and a nice large bottle of aspirin.

            There was absolutely no way that Oliver was the vigilante. Not that he wasn’t capable of it. She noticed how much he had changed since he came back and it didn’t just stem from physical changes. Mentally, he was different. Sure, he tried to become the old Oliver, or “Ollie” as Tommy liked to call him, but he wasn’t, no matter how much he pretended to be. There was something unsettled inside him. Yet, something that made him mature in a way that even Tommy had not been able to accomplish.

            Yes, it could stem from his time alone on that island he was rescued from. However, Felicity sensed there was much more to it. A story that Oliver just was not ready to tell yet. Not that she would ever be the one that he would tell it to. Silently, she berated herself for wishing that she was.

 

 

           

**Author's Note:**

> Preview Chapter 2:
> 
> “Hi,” she said back before waving him closer. When Oliver was close she indicated he should stop. Apparently, she did not want the manager to know she was talking to him. “There’s a door down the hall, labeled IT Department. There’s a woman there. Felicity can help you.”  
> Oliver paused. “Felicity?”  
> The woman nodded, but when the manager started to walk back, she turned and resumed whatever she was working on, ignoring Oliver completely. That left Oliver to stand there. She actually said Felicity. But there was no way it could be his Felicity. The chances were slim because for sure Tommy, or someone, would know that Felicity Smoak worked at Queen Consolidated. It had to be a coincidence. One that Oliver was determined to put to rest. The woman had said Felicity was the one to see, so he was going to see her one way or another.


End file.
